Psychologists and educators have long noticed that more and more children are becoming
unmanageable. They not only do not listen and play pranks, but simply do not hear what adults say to them. And the fault in this lies primarily with the parents themselves. Therefore, all dads and mothers should know how to communicate with children.
Most parents make mistakes in communicating with their child for several reasons:
1. They believe that they should educate him, and discipline above all. Therefore, they read a lot of notations and moralizing, and they just have no time to just talk heart to heart.
2. Scolding a child, they recoup on it for their failures and troubles in life.
3. Parents believe that since they themselves were brought up in such a way, that is how they should behave with a child. After all, no one told them how to communicate with children correctly.
The consequences of such communication are most often not liked not only by children, but also by the parents themselves. Over time, the child simply ceases to notice them, completely not listening to what they say. In adolescence, such children are rude to adults, behave aggressively. This would not have happened if all the parents knew how to communicate with the child.
Psychologists believe that for this they need to follow several rules.
Rule one: you should never ridicule or humiliate a child. The vulnerable children's psyche takes all the words of mom and dad, even said in jest or in a fit of anger, for the truth. If parents often repeat to their child that he is bad, unintelligible, fat or clumsy, this will not only lead to low self-esteem in him, but will also cause the child to simply stop listening to them.
Rule two: never compare your child with others and do not say that the boy next door is better than him. A child must know that he is loved the way he is, and not because he is good or handsome. Repeat often to your baby how you love him and how you need him.
Rule three: if the child was mistaken or did something wrong, never discuss him, but only his act. And in no case can you generalize: "you are always late", "you did everything badly again", "all because of you." Such phrases, thrown by parents in haste, can completely violate their mutual understanding with the child. Therefore, knowing how to communicate with children will help to avoid many problems.
Rule four: do not demand from the child that he cannot do because of his age, lack of knowledge or experience. After all, children can only what adults have taught them, and you can not scold them for their inability, otherwise they will simply avoid such work, and then their parents.
Rule fifth: the child is the same person as you. He needs normal human communication. Never be afraid to tell him directly that something is bothering you, something is hurting you, or you are unhappy with something. Always, if you were wrong, you need to ask your child for forgiveness. Do not worry that he will not understand you, on the contrary: he will trust you more.
Psychologists, explaining to parents how to communicate with children, emphasize that the psyche of the child is very vulnerable, so you need to carefully monitor your words. Often an accidentally thrown assessment or accusation greatly offends children. Psychologists also believe that it is impossible to talk a lot when communicating with a child. Adults are used to
conversations use a lot of comparisons, epithets and hints. But children, especially small ones, take these words for the truth.
I want to believe that soon every family will be able to say: "We learn to communicate with the child correctly." In this case, there will be less conflict, unhappy children and suicides among adolescents. Parents, learn to listen to your child, and then he will hear you!