In an effort to create a family, each person is guided by the dreams of a cozy harbor and joint old age. The romantic stage is characterized by idealistic ideas about marriage as the life of two lovers, filled only with joys. Realities demonstrate the existence of responsibilities, the difference in views of both spouses, the possibility of conflict and the constant need for prioritization. Usually a woman is more clearly aware of her tasks. The husband represents the man’s role in the family vaguely, often not realizing its important components, which leads to disagreement over time. In order to minimize disputes, at the stage of obtaining a marriage certificate, it is important for each of the partners to realize the requirements for their own marital role, discuss and accept them mutually.
What is a family institution?
From the point of view of sociology, marriage is a union of two people aimed at bringing benefits to society; a small organization in which primary human needs are met; Institute for the extension of the genus; development cradle for children. Centuries ago, the sensory component was not taken into account, families were created on the basis of material well-being, mutual understanding of relatives, and other aspirations. A successful union was based on mutual respect and unquestioning fulfillment by each of the spouses of their roles. The woman is the mother of the hearth. The role of men in the family is fundamental, aimed at ensuring well-being.
Democratization lasted for centuries. The struggle for rights and freedoms has been successful. Today, marriages are created on the basis of romantic feelings. This is a huge privilege - to have a common life with a loved one, to increase wealth and raise children with it. The emotional component holds alliances together. It is also a tempting trap in which they die as soon as the feelings weaken. In order to prevent the occurrence of serious crises in marital relations, at the stage of their formation it is correct to understand and fully accept the role of man and woman in the family.
The evolution of the marriage institution
Marriage charters draw their roots from primitive society. At the time of matriarchy, a man was a breadwinner, a woman - the keeper of the hearth, while she was considered the head. The Neolithic revolution produced agriculture, cattle breeding and the preponderance of the patriarchy. The herd had a clan organization. The role of man and woman in the family has somewhat changed, while maintaining the same essence. She ensured joint housekeeping, but did not exempt the “strong” sex from the breadwinner’s tasks, and the “weak” - from childbearing and caring for members of the clan.
Throughout the history of mankind, there have been various civilizations in which the roles of each have shifted significantly. Stories are known and those where she was a military leader, but those in which he would exclusively deal with children and household are unknown.
According to some scholars, the initial formation of tribal monogamy involved the beautiful half in systemic domestic slavery. Centuries-old gender evolution has balanced possible social roles without losing basic sexual responsibilities. The evolution of the man’s role in the family relies on filling his existence with a deep emotional component in relation to his wife and children, as well as in the even division of household “duties”.
Theory of the modern family
The prosperous rural and urban family unions of the 21st century are very different from each other in terms of happiness. So, for the countryside is characterized by the advantage of housekeeping. In this regard, mutual responsibilities are roughly divided, while the kitchen lies on the woman, and the hard physical work is on the man. For such an organization, even in the modern gender age, situations of a male shift in the kitchen and a female shift in the preparation of firewood are considered abnormal.
For a modern urban family, social and professional activity is preferable. Difficulties in everyday life are reduced to cleaning, washing and cooking. Given the equality of the sexes, they may well be balanced. For this charter, it is considered normal when it works hard, while it can sometimes cook food or work out with children. The burden of urban family everyday life is added to the need for each of the couples to monitor their appearance and health. Visiting fitness rooms and beauty salons takes a certain part of the day and requires the other spouse to perform certain duties, for example, hanging out with a child. Even half a century ago this component of the married life did not exist. And here again the evolution of the man’s role in the family is manifested - if he wants to see his woman well-groomed and healthy, he must share a part of her functions.
Role negotiation
A social role is a complex of actions that a person performs with respect to family members and society. Throughout life, it covers several of them at the same time. The social role of men involves the following components: lover, friend, father, earner, defender, master, professional affiliation, friendly position in the company of comrades. It is also not easy for a woman. She should be a beauty, mistress, adviser, mother, mistress, cook, designer of her home, economist, successful lady and faithful friend. At the same time, the social role of man and woman in the family is approximately balanced theoretically, but actually unstable. At many stages, a personal social-role conflict may arise if the requirements are not consistent with their own desires and motivations.
She, the mother and guardian of the outbreak, wants to develop creatively, while her husband requires her professional career, and her relatives require housekeeping. A man - a breadwinner and a defender - wants to pursue his hobby, while his wife demands a consistently high income from him, and close ones - help. If you cannot combine the desired and the desired, a personal and family conflict arises that can lead to depression or divorce.
At the stage of creating a marriage, as well as at each of the crisis periods, it is important to remember the main rule: the family is the coexistence of integral individuals, where each has the same general responsibilities as their own rights, which should be taken into account in a successful social institution. After all, the main role of man and woman in the family is the extension of the family and the upbringing of their children in love and mutual understanding.
Feminine view of the family
Women are refined and romantic in nature. Upon entering into marriage, they are led by several illusory ideas about him as an institution of eternal love and understanding. On an emotional level, they expect constant attention and tenderness from their husband, hugs and kisses, regular high-quality sex, gratitude for tasty food and home comfort, caring for children, love for them and participation in education, his desire for joint leisure, acceptance of her interests, friends and relatives. At a pragmatic level - personal and professional development, stable good earnings, protection, reliability, healthy lifestyles, general life. Dissatisfaction arises when any natural desires and demands do not find a response in the behavioral model of the husband.
It is common for a woman to exaggerate her role in marital relations. This is especially true for the first 10-15 years, when her main responsibilities relate to raising children and caring for them. This is especially true for situations where a man works hard and is unable to share the difficulties of his wife. By the time he returns home in the hope of solitude with a beautiful sexual mistress, she is exhausted by difficulties at work, homework with a child and “kitchen” labor. He spends the rest of the evening watching TV or performing simple household tasks.
At the end of this period, a woman’s life is simplified - children become adults and independent, help with the housework. The social role of men in the family remains unchanged throughout life. Moreover, the requirements are increasing. They expect him to grow and increase wealth, he is responsible for the availability of comfortable housing, fashionable clothes for his wife and children, cars and annual vacations. This is what is important for every woman to remember.
The role of the family in a woman’s life
The gender revolution equalized the rights of both sexes. The beautiful half got the opportunity to lead an active professional and social life. Women have become more independent. Half a century ago, the prerogative of a young, smart and pretty person was marriage. For a modern girl, the priority development of the life path is the sequence: higher education - career - family - children. They are strong and stubborn, but still dream of a single and unique man. Only with experience, the requirements for him are increasing more and more, and the number of unmarried good guys is decreasing.
No matter how strong and independent she is, she needs a strong and reliable man with whom she could make her own cozy nest. In a harmonious union, filled with positive emotions, it blossoms, becomes soft and feminine - thus revealing its essence, laid down by nature.
The woman is the mother. No matter what difficulties the responsibilities of motherhood entail, she can fully reveal her genetic nature by giving birth to a child and raising him.
To feel and be healthy, she needs quality regular sex. Beloved husband is the best partner and guarantor of a stable sex life.
Love, motherhood, regular sex - these are three fundamental reasons for a girl who encourage her to create a family union.
At the same time, it really is difficult for her to be sweet, tender, affectionate, beautiful, caring and cheerful, bearing the responsibilities of household chores and professional achievements. The gender revolution expanded women's rights, but did not simplify her life.
Male view of the family
Male expectations about a family are less based on an emotional factor, but more on a pragmatic one. Sometimes his requirements for it have a quantitative advantage. A woman should be beautiful, well-groomed and healthy. She must like friends and relatives, maintain good relations with them, be his pretty companion and clever like-minded guest, and at home - a sexual lover, good housewife and attentive mother. The husband wants to see in his wife a holistic personality who will also be wise, tolerant and understanding. It is understanding of oneself that is the main requirement of a modern man for a woman. And here it implies the adoption of his hobbies and reasonable "vices", the lack of struggle with them from her. He can put up with not enough tasty cutlets and dust on the furniture, but he, a strong representative of society, will not tolerate reproaches and the suppression of his desires. However, with all the shortcomings and advantages of the modern family earner, the social role of a man in the family corresponds to what he requires from the chosen one. If he accepts her inner world, then she must accept it. In case of inconsistency, you need to solve the problem, and only then move on to new requirements.
Family in the life of a man
Being in an active search for a future wife, he is looking for a faithful wise companion, which will equip their life together. Due to gender equality, he is glad to see a comprehensively developed successful girl nearby. However, he is not looking for her success, but for himself next to her. The role of the family in a man’s life is determined by his life priorities. Family union for him is an incentive for personal achievements, at the same time support and help on the way to them.
He should feel himself the main one, the earner and protector. He can take her as a person, but his own will be suppressed if she is the leader.
He is pleased to have a delicious dinner and order in the house; I am glad when she creates a healthy atmosphere of relations with loved ones; satisfied when praised, admired and cared for. The husband in the wife is looking for the image of the mother and, at the same time, a reliable rear.
Support and understanding on her part is an important aspect of the male family view. When he feels and realizes them, new resources are revealed in him for the next achievements.
Subconsciously, he seeks to prolong the family, looking for a healthy applicant for the role of the mother of his children. He loves and cares for them, strives for their happy future. However, they are not the center of life. His goal is success in life, and his wife is an assistant on the path to self-realization.
He loves with his eyes. If she is good and sexy, while meeting the rest of his requirements, then he is satisfied visually and physically, which means he is satisfied with the marriage. Otherwise, he continues to search.
The man’s role in the family and society is determined not so much by himself as by the woman he chooses.
Standard requirements for it
The main role of men in the family is that the responsibility for family happiness and well-being lies primarily with him. Based on the foregoing, it is possible to precisely formulate what is required of a representative of the stronger sex in order for the institution of marriage created by him to become successful.
Traditional roles of a man (family should consider):
- Advisor and friend. Communication is an important component of a happy union.
- Attentive father and wise tutor.
- Lover, good and faithful.
- An independent master in his house, capable of performing not only his labor duty, but also sharing the functions of his wife.
- The guarantor of material stability and the accumulation of wealth.
- A courteous member of her family who respects her relatives and friends.
- The brain center in making common decisions is strong, reliable, sane, strong-willed, striving for development.
The traditional roles of men mean those basic functions that he is obliged to perform when entering into marriage. Responsibility for one’s actions, for well-being and emotional health within the family is an important responsibility, which must be carried out by itself. Otherwise, he is not able to lead his union to the development and accumulation of wealth.
The roles of interpersonal interaction
As already mentioned, from the point of view of a woman, the main roles of a man in a family are on the same level as interpersonal emotionally determined ones. While for him, the sensory component is always secondary or becomes such after a few years.
The causes of female dissatisfaction in a marriage are often the missing or missing following components of a happy union:
- attention and tenderness;
- regular communication;
- honesty;
- thanks for the comfort of home;
- adoption of it as an individual and a member of society;
- regular joint leisure.
As practice shows, outdoor activities and evening watching movies, sharing interests and hobbies of each other significantly bring together partners. The role of men in the family is to accept this component of spiritual intimacy and to ensure its presence in everyday life. It is important to balance for yourself the requirements for the partner and compliance with his desires.
Having regular communication requires serious efforts. Passion for their personal affairs and problems makes both partners inattentive and callous in relation to each other, and daily communication is reduced to minimal talking about children or relatives. It is important to be deeply interested in not only external circumstances, but also internal experiences, discuss thoughts, feelings, fears, desires and goals. Unfortunately, it is from the side of the stronger sex that there are no motivations for deep emotional communication. It is necessary to strive to understand each other and try to change in favor of common happiness.
Thus, the role of a man in a modern family and society comes down to matching his three pillars:
- Guarantor of material stability.
- Companion in household chores and parenting.
- Spiritual leader and emotional partner.
Marriage is a very complex substance. Creating a family is easy. It is difficult to ensure the happiness of both partners and their children in this alliance. This requires serious efforts, sometimes bordering on the infringement of one’s own interests. It is important to remember that one person can achieve a lot in life, but two loving partners have the opportunity to get much more in a joint harmonious union. But the adjustment of all its systems lies on the shoulders of the spouse. This is the main role of men in the family.