How To Cope With Jealousy - Everyday Tips

If love is considered the most mysterious feeling that comes to us from nowhere and sometimes goes nowhere, then jealousy has very specific coordinates and causes. And because of the strength and passion of manifestations, jealousy can sometimes plug into the belt even the deepest love feelings.

Psychologists subdivide this emotional state into the following categories: male jealousy, female jealousy, children's jealousy. Each species has its own sources and solutions. But their common mechanism of manifestation unites: suspicion towards specific people or one person, the moment of a psychological outbreak and, as a result, anger, resentment, desire to take revenge, anger and even hatred. Therefore, it is worth considering how to cope with jealousy, the source of many problems and troubles.

Reason for jealousy

Oddly enough, but a man can begin to be jealous of his woman for no reasonable reason. Anything can serve as a reason - the "extra" ten minutes that a friend or wife spoke on the phone with her mother instead of running headlong into the kitchen to warm up dinner. An unexpected meeting of his girlfriend with her ex-boyfriend or old acquaintance and their conversation in warm, friendly colors. The lively atmosphere of the "girls" gatherings, from which she returns in such a cheerful mood, which is rarely the case, being next to him. But you never know! The main thing here is a sense of ownership. Men do not hide it. They are owners by nature, this was transmitted to them from their ancestors, who lived in caves and with a strong club millions of years ago who met anyone who was approaching a dangerous distance from their home, prey, or woman and children. The concept of "do not touch mine!" so rooted in their psychology that no lessons of good manners and civilization can permanently etch it. Therefore, no, no, yes, and peeps under the external gloss of good manners in a smart, educated, intelligent man, a wild, furious Othello.

By the way, psychologists drew attention to this nuance: male jealousy and the symptoms of its manifestation often depend on mood. When a man is in a good mood, not hungry, slept, etc., then he will calmly react to many irritants, from which, in a different state, without hesitation would have arranged a “scuffle” to the alleged opponent and “interrogation with addiction” to a hypothetical “cheater” .

Do not forget that psychological relationships in a pair, a microclimate can also provoke male jealousy. Decreased attention or a certain cooling of feelings, sexual attraction, the emergence of a woman's new interests and hobbies, work, career or the birth of a child - and now the man already feels no destiny, abandoned and forgotten, which means ... Yes, yes, he begins to be jealous. And if he has underestimated self-esteem, complexes and self-doubt, a small salary and some other “minuses” (which he himself invented), then it is difficult to find more fertile ground for scenes and scandals.

Error handling

How to cope with jealousy if it began to undermine your relationship like rust that destroys iron? The question is not simple, there are no definite answers, a panacea for it, but, of course, a general treatment methodology can be developed. Why treatment? Because jealousy is a kind of pathology, a manifestation of mental instability of an individual, excessive aggressiveness of great destructive power, in which a breakdown is almost inevitable. And the popular assertion “jealous means love” has long passed into the category of alogisms and remnants of the past.

So, what can be advised to the jealous and their halves? A disease is always easier to prevent. Therefore, if you noticed Othello's habits behind your man, think in advance how to cope with your lover's jealousy and direct his emotions in a peaceful direction. First of all, you need to try not to provoke outbreaks, to extinguish them in the bud, not to give a reason. Cultivate a man's sense of self-confidence and self-sufficiency. Show more and, most importantly, sincerely, respect for him, consult with him and listen to his opinion. In general, warmth and sincerity in relationships have never stopped anyone anywhere!

But a man must work on himself, because how to cope with jealousy is his problem if he shows this jealousy. First of all, you should trust your beloved woman more. To understand that she is not a thing, but a living being and a free being. And since she is with you, this is her free choice, made consciously, durable, real, designed for many years of a happy life together.

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/K14731/


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