Previously, there was an opinion that assault by a man occurs only in those families where alcoholism or drug addiction takes place. But, as long-term practice shows, this is not at all true. It turns out that even in the most intelligent family, a spouse can prettyly beat his wife. And no one from the environment will ever guess that such a thing is possible at all. So, the husband beat him up badly. What to do?
What is the matter?
This raises the most important question: what if the husband beats up? Ultimately, the decision is up to the wife, because the further this assault goes, the faster male tyranny will develop. How to deal with it? A definite answer to this question cannot be found, each case can be considered unique in its essence. This is because each situation has its own reasons, which, in turn, cannot be an excuse for the pathology when the strong one exerts violent actions against the weak. Let's analyze the main reasons that psychologists highlight. What to do if the husband beat up to bruises? Run as fast as possible.
Main reasons
Of course, one cannot say with certainty that there is a specific number of reasons. These points are only conditional, the problem may be completely different. However, psychologists are primarily advised to pay attention to such factors:
- A man acts on the example of his own parents, who developed an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps dad was not shy about using brutal masculine power against his mother. And if a child has seen this since childhood, then this could very well become his norm of behavior.
- The use of physical force is self-affirmation for your man. Often, this pattern of behavior is inherent in loser men. If your chosen one cannot stand up for himself in conflicts with his peers or is faced with difficulties at work, then anger builds up over time, which takes his place on your spouse. Everything is simple here - the strongest suppresses the weakest.
- Of course, one cannot ignore the most common and most common reason - this is assault in a state of alcohol or drug intoxication. It often happens that a drunk person becomes completely uncontrollable, all prohibitions in behavior are lifted, and whatever your heart desires begins to happen. In a sober state, your spouse may begin to throw at your feet, ask for forgiveness and tearfully promise that this will not happen again. Only this is a vicious circle, and such behavior will continue indefinitely.
- It is possible that women themselves are guilty. You can meet such young women who themselves openly provoke their spouses. Eternal insults, reproaches for any reason, bullying and so on. Sometimes it happens that women themselves provoke a fight and this is not a joke.
- The last most common reason is female softness and spinelessness. This behavior can also be considered to some extent a provocation. Especially if your spouse is a brawler by nature, he will not look for a good reason to engage in assault. Every little thing, even household, causes real anger. And only the submissiveness of the wife seems to add fuel to the fire, and then fists are used.
This list of reasons is far from exhaustive, but one thing is obvious: the role of the victim, a sense of duty towards the spouse or father, which is in most cases false, is not the best model of behavior. A woman should always be aware that thereby endangering not only herself, but also her children, no matter existing or future. Beaten husband - what to do? It will be legally correct to immediately write a statement to the police.
Typology of House Tyrants
What to do if a husband beats? Analyze the situation. Psychologists subdivide fans to wave their fists at home into two types:
- “Pit bull” - this type of men any quarrel, even the smallest, ends in a fight. He will apologize for every assault, only the further it goes, the more familiar will be the scandals that will end with waving fists. At first it can be single blows, but it can end with a truly brutal beating of the spouse. Over time, the home tyrant comes to taste, you can’t explain and prove anything to him. Aggression becomes the second "I". Psychologists comment on the situation as follows: a man begins to simply depend on the spouse whom he beats. He muffles his sense of guilt with new brawls.
- “Cobra” is probably the most dangerous type, because they don’t need any reason to start waving their fists. These are real home sadists who have mental problems and still cannot explain what causes these outbreaks of aggression. This type of men will not spare anyone, not even a pregnant spouse. A wife can be saved only if she senses in advance that an attack will soon take place on the part of the home sadist.
These two types in psychology are considered basic.
What if this happens for the first time?
Beaten husband? What to do? Where to go? The first thing a woman feels is overwhelming. How can you believe that a dear and beloved person raised a hand at you, at a fragile and tender girl. Yes, this happened, so the first thing to do is calm down, give yourself and your husband time to analyze what happened. Of course, it is possible that this is an ordinary accident and this will never happen again. We all sometimes lose our temper so much that we cannot control what happened. If your spouse understands that what happened is terrible on his part, then first of all he must necessarily apologize.
What should a woman do?
First of all, one duty falls on women's shoulders - a manifestation of wisdom. Analyze the relationship in the husband’s family as his parents contacted each other. If assault was not uncommon for them, then most likely your man copies the behavior of his father. And here, with almost one hundred percent certainty, we can say that solving problems with your fists will become commonplace in your family. If love and harmony reigned in his family, you can forgive your husband and believe that this failure is an isolated case. Make your spouse condition that repeating this in the end will ruin your relationship. Ex-husband beats what to do? Cut off all contacts with him, of course.
How to prevent domestic violence?
You should be clearly aware of one simple truth: if a person raised his hand, most often this is not limited to a single case. If the domestic tyrant opens his arms regularly, then we must look for methods to prevent such behavior. Unfortunately, in Russia there are no services that should respond to cases of domestic violence against women. You have to contact the police or ambulance. And then, you can count on them only in the most difficult cases. It remains to seek advice from a science such as psychology. It follows that even a defenseless pregnant woman can rely only on herself. Worst of all, when the husband beat the child. What to do? Pack your things and leave home with your native child. And immediately look for a council for a tyrant.
What behavior strategy is worth building?
Despite the fact that each case is individual, it is worth taking note of the following rules:
- What to do if a husband beats? It all starts with a frank conversation about the destructive behavior of the spouse. If he understands the horror of the situation, then a joint approach to a psychologist would be an ideal option. The specialist will evaluate and analyze the current situation, after which he will give an answer to why marital relations are so formed. Perhaps this is precisely what will help the spouse get rid of the unacceptable habit of taking out her anger and bad mood in her beloved. If the husband does not understand and does not accept, then here the woman is unlikely to solve the problem on her own.
- Every woman from the very beginning of any relationship should clearly understand that she should never, regardless of circumstances, be subjected to domestic violence.
- Any lady should respect herself and have dignity in order to prevent such a humiliating attitude towards herself.
- If a man raised his hand for you for the first time, do not throw tantrums. Just pack and leave your home. By this act you will show the man that such relationships do not suit you in any way and you are not going to put up with such behavior.
If your spouse regularly rushes at you with fists and no conversations help, the only choice is to leave, and as soon as possible. Otherwise, soon your psyche will be destroyed, and humiliation will become a habit and become the norm. And in no case should it be.
Maybe it's time to declare war?
What to do if a husband beats? A good example will be the well-known film entitled “Enough For Me”, where the well-known Jennifer Lopez played the main role. The heroine of the picture is a young woman who, at first glance, has a good, prosperous family. A wealthy husband, a charming little daughter - what else is needed for happiness? However, over time, the picture of happiness is destroyed when the spouse not only begins to cheat on his wife, but also beats a young woman on an ongoing basis. The patience of the heroine Jennifer is not rubber in any way, and after the passage of time she leaves her house with her daughter ...
What happens next?
... At the same time, she firmly decides that she will never allow herself to be treated like this again in her life. The woman concludes that it is necessary to take revenge on the home tyrant. And then begins the period of hard training - both the body and willpower. Ultimately, the heroine managed to repay her husband in full. She made him feel the humiliation that she herself had faced day after day. Of course, the easiest way is to cry with a friend in the kitchen, complaining that your spouse is beating you. And still return to him and endure a humiliating attitude further. But not everyone can show firmness, strength. But do not forget that it depends only on you whether you will endure everything that is happening, or still take the first step towards change.
How to hide from assault at home?
The husband beat his wife, what should I do? Of course, it rarely happens that a weak woman will be able to defeat adult men, and even if he is angry. If you don’t have the opportunity to just leave home, then there is only one way out - to begin the struggle not only for your own rights, but also for the well-being of children.
Beaten husband, what to do and where to go?
What are the options?
- Maybe you should go to self-defense courses? If you are at home, like in a minefield, then a few tricks that will help put an opponent out of action will definitely come in handy.
- Learn not to show any reaction to spouse provocations. If you find yourself in such a situation, it is better to grab the children in an armful and temporarily leave the house. The husband must understand that these attacks do not bother you.
- If the house has a room equipped with reliable doors that can be locked with a lock on the inside, this can be an excellent refuge during periods of outbursts of husband’s anger. Also, a woman should always have a mobile phone with her.
Such tips will not help to cope with a home tyrant, but can become a lifeline in emergency situations.