In a good marriage, people always teach each other. You teach each other the science of life. Touching daily, lying on the same pillow, you influence each other against your will.
Ray Bradbury
Everyone dreams of happiness in their personal lives. Even if he does not feel this desire to the fullest. This desire is still somewhere deep inside and waiting in the wings to remind of itself.
We all want family happiness. If not at a young age, then over the years. But what is this happiness really? Is it possible to create it or just ... deserve it?
The basics of a happy family
Many couples, especially the first few years of marriage, cease to understand each other. Over time, passion fades, problems appear, misunderstanding. Why it happens? After all, the desire for family happiness is present in both partners.
When creating a family, both a man and a woman should understand what marriage is and why it is needed. In addition to love, which becomes the basis of family harmony, spouses must marry for a specific purpose. For example, make each other happy. This is the best goal for creating a strong family. In addition, people marry in order not to be alone. And this is normal. After all, children grow up and create their own families, and the spouse is always there, support and love.
Another secret of family happiness is constant work on oneself. More precisely over his psychological state. Psychologists say that only people with a healthy psyche can create a strong family. But the human psyche constantly forms unnecessary stereotypes and habits that adversely affect the relationship of the couple. Keep tender, clean, avoid vanity and selfishness.
And of course, talk to each other. There is a problem? Solve it together. Sit at the table, drink coffee and talk as openly as you talk in private with yourself.
Family is a work every minute, sometimes pleasant, sometimes exhausting. This work on yourself is especially important. You will always have time to part and search for another partner. But if the problem is not in him, but in you, this is unlikely to help. Prayer for family happiness will help both spouses to find inner harmony .
Separation of roles of spouses
Today, says psychotherapist Elena Dobrobabenko in an interview, the couples switched places. Many women earn money, while their soul mates deftly mop. However, the position “I can be no worse than men” does not characterize a woman as an ideal spouse. The responsibilities that spouses must perform in marriage are not simply invented. They are the natural characteristics of men and women. Spouse is calculations and mind, spouse is comfort and tenderness. And if many did not try to change roles, psychotherapists and sexologists are sure, they would be able to maintain a relationship.
Men Responsibilities
So, a man should be responsible for the basis of the family budget. Even if his beloved works, she should know that she has a reliable rear in financial matters.
Do not forget to give your wife gifts. Their cost is not so important, the main thing is attention. But insincere compliments to the wife should not be said. Studies show that women subtly sense lies.
A man is also a guide for family vacations. "On Saturday we go to the sea!" - says the head of the family. And everyone is happy: both children and wife. Men are encouraged to learn how to help their wife maintain order. At least not to throw things anywhere, if he doesn’t want to wash the dishes instead.
Woman's tasks
The woman, in turn, performs other important functions. She creates the atmosphere in the house. A man wants to return to such a house after work. To do this, she will need to learn to gently, without pressure and scandals, to accustom her husband and children to order. If funds allow, she can hire a housekeeper, says Dr. Dobrobabenko.
In addition, a woman independently sculpts her man. If she has the patience for a few years, he will soon become exactly what she wants to see him. A man, like a computer, lives according to the program established by his wife. If you notice his good qualities and tell him about it, they will soon begin to prevail in his behavior as basic. But when a woman says only bad things about him, he subconsciously tries to match her words.
In addition, you should not argue with your husband and insist on something in an open form. To give in and then present your opinion in the form of an assumption is the best option for maintaining harmony in the family.
The key to happiness in marriage
To maintain a relationship, the couple must understand that their marriage is held on a few whales and a turtle. Whales are trust, mutual respect and understanding. They can only be achieved if both halves learn wisdom. A woman will stop accumulating petty insults and blame her husband for all mortal sins. And a man will learn to respect and value her. Everyone in this case will have to sacrifice something, change somewhere.
But the tortoise that holds the whales is the personal space of each spouse. While they meet and appreciate the time spent together, the concept of "personal space" is very far from them. However, cohabitation implies the ability to divide the territory - him and her. For example, a woman places her things on one shelf of a closet, a man on others. She stores her makeup on the left shelf, and he shampoo, razor and gel on the right.
Psychologists recommend respecting the physical personal space of the partner. If he needs silence, listen to music on the headphones. You live together, but each of you sometimes needs to be alone with yourself.
What do happy couple studies say?
During the study, many couples were interviewed. It soon turned out that many of them grew up in difficult conditions, had problems with society, and suffered from internal conflicts. They do not follow their parents' behavior, because it is not the best. But they achieved family happiness in the present. When describing life together, none of them denied that there were misunderstandings and quarrels, stress at work and sexual temptations outside the family. However, contrary to all these factors, they maintained their relationship.
Studies have shown that all couples once had doubts about their choice. But the positive aspects in their relationship turned out to be more significant than minor troubles.
The couple claimed that they had reached a certain middle ground in the relationship, a balance of desires, aspirations, expectations. Achieving it is impossible without emotional maturation in marriage. That is, for a happy family life (we create a family precisely for this!), Individuals must grow and develop.
Interesting facts about marriage
A collection of curious facts that will be interesting to those who have not joined it is given below.
1. The marriage of spouses under the age of 25 increases the likelihood of divorce.
2. It is noted that in countries with a high level of education, citizens marry later. In countries with less educated populations, the opposite trend is observed. After all, the more intelligent a person is, the more careful and distrustful is he in love.
3. The risk that the first 5 years of marriage will end in divorce is 20%. When living together without a stamp in the passport, it increases to 50%.
4. Ancient states (Greece, Rome, Sparta) forced their citizens to marry. The public despised those who did not start a family.
5. Nonverbalism is the basis of communication between the two spouses. Body language makes up 55% of spouses' communication. Words occupy only 7% of their relationship, and the tone of voice is 38%.
Marriage is not easy, sometimes it even hurts. But there is nothing more beautiful than the sincere love of two personalities who managed to overcome external and internal conflicts in order to become happy with each other. Esotericists say that loving people have a close energetic connection. And finally, a little advice for women.
"I wish everyone happiness"
This is one of the most powerful cleansing mantras, which works on the principle of "what you radiate, you receive." Closing your eyes and repeating it out loud, you send energy to the Universe and to everyone’s soul. Sincere wishes of family happiness and prosperity to others will bring this joy into your life. Practice this mantra daily, seek harmony in yourself and in the world around you. And be happy.