Domestic violence is a fairly common problem, which, unfortunately, is usually hushed up. Nevertheless, it is impossible to ignore the situation when men beat women. Why it happens? What way out of such situations?
Family traditions"
The reason why men beat women is worth looking for in childhood. It is not in vain that they say that everything comes from the family. Most men who are prone to assault have witnessed this pattern of behavior in childhood. Perhaps the man’s mother was beaten for a tasteless dinner, dust on the nightstand or long gatherings with friends. It is possible that in childhood the "aggressor" himself was left with it.
Biased attitude towards women
Unfortunately, a large number of men have a biased attitude towards the opposite sex (which may be due to the peculiarities of upbringing or the influence of friends). They consider women to be second-class people who are called to remain silent and serve men. Naturally, when a woman shows some activity or begins to assert her rights, this is perceived with hostility.
Complexity and self-doubt
It is important for representatives of the stronger sex to demonstrate their authority, wealth and power - this is male psychology. Why does a man beat a woman? Perhaps he has no other means of self-expression. If at work he is harassed by failures, and his friends do not take him seriously and often ridicule him, this can become a cause of complexity and the accumulation of internal aggression. He takes her out on a woman who is physically weaker and can not fight back.
Resentment against a woman
Regarding why men beat women, there are a lot of opinions of psychologists. In particular, there is a version that representatives of the stronger sex blame their companions for some life failures and so take out their resentment. For example, a friend became pregnant, the guy had to get married, which entailed some consequences. Perhaps this prevented him from becoming a dream profession, perhaps he had to give up true love, perhaps an early marriage destroyed his dreams of travel and so on. This resentment lives in the head and periodically makes itself felt in the form of attacks of aggression.
Alcohol and drug abuse
The state of alcohol and drug intoxication is one of the main causes of domestic violence. What do psychologists think about this? Why does a man beat a woman when he drinks? It is difficult to give a concrete answer, because alcohol acts on a person unpredictably. It is almost impossible to determine what exactly is happening at this moment in his head. But in most psychologists agree that when intoxicated a person is liberated and releases all those negative feelings that he had previously suppressed. No wonder they say: "What is sober in the mind, then the drunk in the tongue." Well, or on a fist.
Problems in society
Family psychology provides a lot of interesting information. Why does a man beat a woman? The opinion of psychologists makes one pay attention to the social sphere. Perhaps the man has conflicts at work or disagreements with friends. But for some reason he does not want (or cannot) conflict with the offender. As a result, he brings all the aggression home and takes out on his wife.
The influence of stars
Questions like "Why is the Snake man beating the Horse woman?" or "What are the reasons for Aquarius's domestic violence?" seem ridiculous. Nevertheless, knowing the features of the signs of the zodiac, it is possible to predict to some extent what kind of situation can cause physical assault. Here are the main aggression factors for different zodiac signs:
- Aries. This is one of the most fiery characters in the zodiac circle. These people are especially aggressive when they have to do what they do not want. Aries also can not stand moral pressure.
- Calf. This is a very friendly sign, whose representatives are not so easy to get mad. But if this already happened, be prepared for a stormy stream of aggression. The main reasons why a Taurus man hits a woman is humiliation and betrayal.
- Twins. Behavior is hard to predict. A calm person may break out in a minute. The reason is an attempt to teach and order.
- Crayfish. Very soft and affectionate person. He begins to get angry if loved ones ignore him, pay little attention, skimp on the manifestations of love.
- A lion. Loses his temper with and without. Any little thing can cause a scandal, it is difficult to predict and anticipate a flash of aggression.
- Virgo. A patient and loving person who can hold negative emotions in himself for a long time. The cause of aggression may be the accumulated resentment about the situation that took place in the past.
- Libra. A peace-loving sign that does not tolerate conflicts, tries to avoid them. Outbursts of anger arise from the many annoying nuances that accumulate over a period of time.
- Scorpio. An unbalanced person who gets angry himself and wreaks havoc around. After an annoying situation, he does not react immediately, but carefully plans the course of development of the conflict.
- Sagittarius. A quick-tempered person who can get angry at the most unexpected occasion. A careless statement, contrary to the views of a person, can infuriate him.
- Capricorn. Pretty calm and flexible, but very strict and demanding person. From himself, indiscipline and irresponsibility can lead him.
- Aquarius. Relaxed and pacified sign. A senseless argument "for the sake of an argument" can infuriate him.
- Fish. A melancholy and peaceful person who, however, is prone to extremes. He does not like to sort things out, but they can lose their temper from insulting injustice.
Women's mistakes that lead to beating
There is no justifiable reason why men beat women. Nevertheless, women sometimes make mistakes that can directly or indirectly provoke this situation. Here are the highlights:
- Lack of self-esteem and worship of a man. Sometimes such situations are observed in unequal marriages (when a man is rich and influential), as well as in cases when a woman is panicky afraid to be left alone. As a result, she in every way pleases the cavalier, closing her eyes to all his misconduct. A man begins to feel power over a woman, which first leads to moral, and then to physical violence.
- Psychological pressure on a man. Women with a strong authoritarian character tend to subordinate others to their will. Constant psychological pressure can cause an outbreak of aggression in a man, which can lead to assault.
- The role of the victim. Some women sincerely believe that they deserve everything that happens to them. In particular, they suffer beatings, considering them a punishment from the Universe for some misconduct. And if a man is a tyrant by nature, a woman’s passive reaction will provoke him even more.
- Waiting for compensation. Surprisingly, some women are beaten because they like the reconciliation phase. Apologies and passionate confessions, a passionate night of love, expensive gifts they consider worthy of compensation.
What to do?
If you are faced with beatings, the main thing is not to be silent and not to endure. You can do the following:
- Contact your family psychologist. If the beatings were of a one-off nature, perhaps a specialist will help save the marriage.
- Get away from the offender. Leave home with your parents, friends, neighbors, or the hotel. Do not stay alone with the aggressor.
- Enlist the support of loved ones. The spouse should know that you have protection in the form of friends and relatives.
- Use the helpline. Specialists will tell you how to act for women who are without support.
- Contact the police. A man must be punished for assault.
To forgive or not to forgive?
Whatever the answer to the question of why a man beats a beloved woman, the attitude to such behavior should be extremely negative. But strangely enough, very many women who experience domestic violence forgive the domestic tyrant, continue their life together and suffer periodic attacks. There may be several reasons for this phenomenon:
- "Beats - means love." Some women justify their spouse’s aggression with this popular wisdom.
- Material addiction. If a woman does not have her own housing or source of funds, she may prefer to be beaten than go on a "self-swimming".
- Waiting for change. Many women believe that they will be able to re-educate their faithful.
- A pity. Some ladies think that a man will be lost without them, and continue to sacrifice themselves.
What do psychologists say about this? If the beatings have a regular recurring character, there can be no talk of forgiveness and hopes for change. This is an established habit, lifestyle or even mental illness. A woman should think about her safety.
If the assault was of a one-time nature, it is worth analyzing the situation. What was the reason? Perhaps you words or actions brought the man to white heat? If there were no provocations on your part, this is an alarming bell. Do not wait for the man to hit you again.
How to recognize a potential brawler
You can talk a lot about why men beat women, but it’s better never to face this, because the consequences can be the most deplorable, even fatal. Therefore, even at the initial stage of the relationship, you need to carefully look at the man. A potential brawler can be identified by the following signs:
- Constant discontent. If a man is constantly annoyed with the outside world (passers-by, the weather, the color of tablecloths in a restaurant, and so on), sooner or later, his irritation can spread to you.
- Physical impact. In the early stages of a relationship, men rarely dare to hit a woman. But there may be other methods of physical impact. In a fit of aggression, he can squeeze your hand painfully, push or roughly drag you behind him. All these are disturbing calls.
- Obsessive jealousy. If the gentleman openly controls you, shows distrust and makes a tragedy out of any of your contacts with the opposite sex, later this can turn into bouts of aggression.
- The pursuit of dominance. Powerful men are often prone to aggression. If the gentleman is trying to command you, can raise his voice alone or in public, this should alert you.
- Threats. If, in a fit of anger, a man threatens you with physical harm and may even sway, it is possible that sooner or later he will realize his threats. Also, at an early stage of a relationship, it’s worth considering why a man hits a woman in the ass. Is it a manifestation of flirting and passion or hidden aggression?
- Alcohol abuse. The drunk person is unpredictable. Especially if he takes alcohol with an enviable constancy.