People meet, fall in love, but sometimes the romantic relationship of a guy and a girl comes to an end. So they decided that they did not fit together. You can say a lot of nasty things, but you can disperse amicably. Many guys ask themselves: how then to behave with an ex-girlfriend? After the break, there are several options for developing your relationship. This article is for guys, men who don’t know what to do with an ex-girlfriend.
You can be friends with an ex-girlfriend
“Let's stay friends!” - you can often hear from the lips of a guy or girl who came to the fact of parting. Your relationship has come to naught, but former love managed to become a loved one who does not want to lose. She knows you well, and you are used to sharing secrets with her or asking her for advice. Isn't that a relationship of friends? So many people think. But this is simply the most peaceful way of breaking up, they usually ask to remain friends out of politeness so as not to offend another person. It will most likely not be friendship, you will remain ordinary acquaintances. Although even after the most violent parting with screams and quarrels, you will still remain familiar, whatever one may say.
Therefore, it is important to understand two things. First, what is friendship between a man and a woman? Second - why do you need it? It is worth honestly answering these questions.
The friendship between a man and a woman implies that you will continue to share secrets, joys with each other , ask and give advice. It seems to be a good deal, but only at first glance. Also, if an ex-girlfriend gets married, you will have to be happy for her. Are you ready for this? It is worth considering carefully, weighing all the pros and cons of such a friendship. After all, there are tricks here.
Why not be friends with an ex-girlfriend?
A man and a woman who were in a relationship should not remain friends, if only because they just might not succeed. After all, people very rarely disagree without hatred, claims to each other or without the desire to start their joint romance anew. Probably someone will want to return the relationship. But is it worth it? Is this really so? Probably no. Usually such a desire arises only in the first time after parting. Months, weeks or even several days will pass, and it will fade away, especially if a replacement appears.
Also, do not stay friends, because your new mate may very much not like the fact that you and your ex-woman still communicate. If the new passion is jealous, she might think that you are still twisting the novel. In general, if you still decided to maintain friendship, it is better to be honest in a new relationship and immediately tell you that you are communicating well with an old friend. It’s not worth mentioning the details of the relationship, but it’ll be good to say that she already has a new young man. So the new girl will be calm for the safety of your relationship and will not be jealous of the former. Probably not. But in any case, she will be better off learning this from you than from someone else who just thinks that you are dating two girls at the same time.
What not to do in friendship with an ex-girlfriend?
1. The first main rule - never call an ex-girlfriend a diminutive name or sweet nicknames like “hare”, “pussy”, “sun” and so on. Your ex-love will perceive such appeals on your part as something more than just friendship. Also, do not write or call her too often, once a week will be enough to maintain friendly relations.
2. The second main rule - never drink with an ex-girlfriend together. Stick to this point at least for the first time, when your feelings have not yet completely died out. You know what alcohol leads to.
3. Do not have farewell sex with your ex-girlfriend. Before starting a friendship, he will be inappropriate. This means that you are not yet ready to break off relations with this man as a woman, therefore, there can be no talk of friendship.
4. Do not say such expressions: “I do not deserve you,” “You are good,” “Find yourself another, you will feel better with him.” Never say that. But then what to do? You need to talk differently with your ex-girlfriend. Otherwise, she simply thinks that you are blaming her for all responsibility for ending your relationship. And you shouldn’t do this to your friends.
How to stay friends with ex-girlfriend?
If the breakup was your initiative, then find out from your current girlfriend (if you haven’t parted with her, of course), how she relates to the friendship between a man and a woman after breaking up their relationship, in which cases she considers her acceptable. There is no need to ask directly about this. Ask her questions indirectly. What does it mean?
You can find a film in which the heroes parted, but retained friendly relations. For example, this is the series The Big Bang Theory. Watch a movie with a girl, and then casually ask how she relates to such an outcome of events. There is another option. Tell about your friends (you can tell about fictional acquaintances) that they broke up some time later, but continue to be friends. Touch the ground and you will see how to proceed further and how to be with the ex-girlfriend.
There is another option that both partners want to end the relationship, but can not decide to tell each other about it. This, of course, is the perfect deal. With him, the chances are very high that you immediately after breaking up will remain friends as soon as you clarify all the nuances. But you still need to be able to feel this moment and tactfully express your feelings.
Ex-girlfriend as alternate aerodrome
This option is not suitable for honest men, because you have to deceive the ex-girlfriend. What is the point of this strategy, probably, no one needs to be explained. Relationships are maintained so as not to be lonely, until someone on the horizon meets someone better for the role of a beloved wife. The former woman, as it were, should be on a short leash, even if she already has a new man. Cruel, isn't it? This strategy really works, no special tricks are needed here, everything is extremely simple, although it seems doubtful.
How to keep a girl as a fallback?
In order for any girl, not only the former, to become a transit point, everything must be done exactly the opposite with respect to the first strategy. So she will think that you still have any feelings for her.
1. More often remind your ex-girlfriend about yourself. Not only by calls or messages, but also go somewhere together, for example, for a walk or to a movie. A direct hit will be if you offer her to go to the place that is special to you. For example, it may be a nightclub in which you first met. At the same time, do not forget to call the girl affectionate nicknames. Even if she was the initiator of the breakup, she will still think about the correctness of her decision. Especially if you dedicate poetry to an ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t matter if you write them yourself or copy them from the Internet, she will appreciate it.
2. From time to time, meet with an ex-girlfriend on your territory. You can invite her to your home to watch a movie in private or to a party where friends and spirits will be. We all know what alcohol leads to - sex. And this is what you need to maintain a relationship. Intimate communication does not allow women to forget the time when you were together. After several such meetings, the time will come when the ex-girlfriend will be the first to remind herself. If an ex-girlfriend calls you suddenly, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone, maybe she has an interesting offer for you, you don’t need to get your own price.
3. Congratulate your ex-girlfriend on your memorable dates. Of course, you may not remember them, but in the conversation you can get any information. As if by chance, nostalgia: “Do you remember, once you and I ...”, and she will most likely say when it was. Usually girls remember dates. Then you can save a reminder of this wonderful event to your phone, and then offer to mark it somewhere. The result will be, as they say, obvious.
4. Say that a great couple could come out of you. Remember your quarrels, because of which you quarreled. On occasion, tell the ex-girlfriend that if it weren't for them, you would have been fine. This “with” particle technique gives hope that it is still possible to correct the mistakes of the past and start the relationship anew.
What not to do if the ex-girlfriend is an alternate aerodrome?
1. Do not lie that you have no one if you are already dating a new woman. Otherwise it will come to you sideways. For example, you are walking with your new lover, and suddenly you met an ex-girlfriend. An awkward situation, right? At best, you will only lose your ex-girlfriend. At worst, you will not have a relationship with any of them if an ex-girlfriend tells your new about your adventures. And some girls - they are, yes.
On the contrary, if you are honest and do not hide the appearance of a new girlfriend, you will only benefit from this. First, the ex-girlfriend will be jealous. Especially if you will tell what a good new sweetheart you have. Secondly, you can hint to your ex-girlfriend that your relationship was wonderful. Let the former be aware of your new relationship, tell me how you two spend time together, but say that everything was wrong with you and you miss the times when you were together.
2. In no case do not meet the former with a new girl. The consequences can be very different. Your ex-girlfriend might think that you are just friends, since you introduce her to her. Sometimes there are comic situations. Girls will talk and unite against you, and you will be left with nothing.
Only intimate relationships with ex-girlfriend
“Why not offer to meet for sex?” - you think. This option has the right to life, if, of course, the ex-girlfriend does not need anything else from you. Probably many men dream of such relationships. But they will not last very long.
Only sex with an ex-girlfriend: why not an option?
Whatever the girl says, but sooner or later she will have more than one intimacy with you, she will begin to claim the role of your girlfriend or even wife. And it doesn’t matter if you were discussing this moment with her or not. Such a relationship will eventually end, it is a matter of time. Maybe a few weeks will pass, or maybe a few years. No one will give any guarantees.
How to achieve only sex with an ex-girlfriend?
You can directly offer one sex, but there is little chance that the ex-girlfriend will give a positive answer. How to be Be trickier with your ex-girlfriend. Invite her to parties from time to time, alcohol will do the trick, and you will most likely end up in the same bed. Then tell her that you had wonderful sex, but otherwise you do not fit each other. Her reaction will tell you how to proceed.
What not to do if there is only sex with an ex-girlfriend?
Do not talk about your new passion, even if the ex-girlfriend is aware that you are dating someone. The ex-girlfriend, most likely, already doubts about your relationship, and you will only increase her hesitation in this way, and she will decide to end this relationship. Or she may become very jealous and will do everything to eliminate her rival. And she certainly will find words for your new woman, how and what to write. The ex-girlfriend will be offended that she is not suitable for the role of your life partner.
It’s up to you to decide what to do with the ex-girlfriend: to be friends with her, to have sex only or not to communicate at all.