Earlier, back in Russia, a guy married himself a girl from another village or settlement. For him and his relatives, she was considered a newcomer, in other words, from where she came. From here came the term "daughter-in-law", which meant "a stranger in a new house and family."
Relation degree
How has the concept changed in modern life? Young daughter-in-law - who is it for her husband’s parents? When a woman marries, she becomes a relative to almost all the husband’s relatives: for the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law, the husband’s brother and his sister. Also, to the wives of brothers and
husbands of sisters, she is a daughter-in-law.
Another daughter
Of course, in most families a new woman is apprehended with caution, as if looking closely at her, especially the newly-made mother-in-law. For new relatives, the daughter-in-law - who is this if not a stranger with his past and his worldview? But wise parents, seeing that the young love and care for each other, get used to the new family member, and even consider the son’s wife their second daughter.
I or she!
Most often, the newlyweds come to live in the husband's family. A fairly common situation, when the mother-in-law is trying to put the young in place and with all her appearance shows that the mistress in the house is only herself. In such a family, a contradiction arises: who is more important - the mother-in-law or the daughter-in-law? Who can resolve this contradiction, if not themselves.
Many parents believe that they are the best for their sons, and no “wife” can replace their offspring with their mother. They are right in their own way. But wise mother-in-law, who really love their "boys" and wish them happiness, will not destroy the new family, but will try to move into the background.
Start small
Leaving the first step of the pedestal is necessary correctly. Make a move with the horse and establish relations with the son’s wife, so much so as to become her friend and mentor. You can begin, for example, by writing congratulations to your daughter-in-law for any significant holiday. If she is a smart girl, she will appreciate such an act. We can assume that the first step has been taken.
Perhaps the girl will be stubborn in something and does not want to concede superiority to her husband’s mother, but this can be attributed to the manifestations of youth. In this case, the mother-in-law can only wish for patience and further efforts. After all, the young wife, in fact, does not want to destroy her own happiness and see how her newly-made husband suffers. Most likely, the steps of the mother-in-law will take effect.
Start small: congratulations on your daughter-in-law's birthday, then release a few compliments to the new relative. And the mother-in-law is already at a shorter distance with her son’s wife than before. At the festive table you can not only congratulate the “brand new” and say a few kind words to her, but also notice
how happy the son
became and how affectionate he became. All this is a merit, no doubt, of his wonderful wife. And when the grandchildren appear, the grandmother will surely tell them about their beautiful and worthy mother. For these displays of wisdom and tolerance of mother-in-law they will be grateful to both the daughter-in-law and the sons.
A few more words ...
Let our little parting words become an impetus for you in establishing relations with your son’s wife, then the question will not arise: “Daughter-in-law - who is this, an enemy or a new daughter?”.