Understanding the opposite sex can be very difficult. Complications appear that cannot be resolved without a common desire, frankness, and mutual understanding. It happens that all attempts seem futile. Can it be argued that a break in a relationship is a healing remedy that can restore a cracked love?
Lack of incentive
If there is a need to move away, it does not mean anything good. In principle, running away from problems is a sign of weak nature. Or the desire of partners to be together is so small that they do not want to resolve the contradictions that have arisen.
A pause in relationships can be a signal that people simply do not see the incentive to work on them. As a rule, at first everything is very interesting, the partners build ideal images, actively explore each other, experience passion and desire, but with the first pitfalls, many pairs fall apart into two separate units. They again go in search of the second half, wanting to find a ready-made ideal, and not work on common happiness.
Both should work on relationships.
In youth, we are often told that we will feel love when we meet it, that everything will happen naturally. And we dutifully believe in it, we are waiting for our second half, looking at the clock and asking fate: “Maybe it's time already? Why am I still alone? What is wrong with me? ”
The fact is that in order for the interaction between the sexes, at least one side should be interested, active, initiative. But in our cynical age, more often everything develops in such a way that one partner winds circles around another, leads round dances, like near a Christmas tree, and the second revels in its splendor in the rays of someone else's adoration.
A pause in the relationship can occur when the partner in love, to a greater extent, raises his own dignity from the floor, turns around and goes looking for someone who will value him more. Although for him, in fact, all relations were one continuous pause and time spent.
When the goal is reached
To the attention of girls in love, it is worth explaining what a pause in relationships means after a stormy period of passion. For example, a representative of the fair sex was courted by a young man for a month. Moreover, with all the passion and desire. And when they achieve mutual delight, he disappears from the horizon, just disappears somewhere. Although everything was so wonderful.
Naturally, everything was fine for the girl, because she felt herself necessary, desired, sometimes even too much. Instantly questions arise in my head: “What have I done wrong?”, “Maybe he has a different one?” Or maybe there are good reasons.
But for some reason, earlier, no obstacles prevented him from rushing towards her through the whole city, even if not for intimacy, then at least for an ordinary meeting. And the partner, after all, only likes the beginning. Women in general in this regard are not as quick to kill as men. They can look closely for a long time, but so stick to the heart that the sudden disappearance of a young man plunges them into a deep moral upset.
What is the way out?
I want to believe that this is just a break in the relationship. What to do to finish it and return the conversation to the same amazing mode?
As a rule, attempts to win a guy or return with reproaches and appeal to a feeling of pity end in a real failure. In general, very few men are able to feel empathy for someone other than themselves. So the only way to interest him is to show that a girl, in general, would be nice without him. Of course, it’s also good with him, but besides their communication in the world there is still a lot of interesting things. Only in this case, the guy will think that he is missing something pleasant for himself, and not get rid of the burden, which will burden him.
Self-digging
Many fall into the extremes of self-digging when there is a pause in relationships. How to behave is half the battle. A completely different story - the mind to realize that the problem is not in you. Thanks to sad thoughts about the departed love, not a single beautiful verse or melody was born, but for the soul they are extremely painful, especially when a person is tormented by ignorance and pity for himself. After all, he was underestimated, turned away, and it is not clear why.
It often happens that a pause in a relationship causes an even greater feeling for the object of adoration. After all, if a person has left, he is better than us. And in this case, it is worth striving for it, holding on to it. Although, most likely, you do not really fit together, didn’t discern or consider your positive qualities, used adoration only as fertilizer to grow your own ego, didn’t want to recognize and share your feelings.
What to do?
According to the logic of things, in such a situation it would be worth considering that there is no point in chasing a person who turns away from you. But during love, feelings prevail over the mind, a person is seized by passion and instincts, from which everything rational just flips somersaults.
Perhaps you didn’t tell your partner something, you behaved too separately and secretively. How can he know who you are if you do not want to tell this? In order not to carry a burden on the heart, it is better to calmly express all your thoughts.
It is extremely important that the careless word of the partner does not piss you off and does not force you to express everything somewhat more sharply than planned. Then the pause will turn into the end of the relationship. Usually people turn around and leave when they see that they are being placed under conditions, locked in frames, and limited their freedom. Despite all the pleasant moments experienced together, the majority will give preference to the right of their own choice.
What if it doesn't work?
If, after you ease your soul, calmly asking all your questions and expressing your thoughts, the desired effect will not be achieved and the happy reunion of the couple in love does not happen, you just need to accept it.
Having decided to take a break in the relationship, the partner shows that he does not need you, that he feels good without you, and silence is much better for him than your voice. The only hope is understatement, with the elimination of which mutual understanding will be established.
To languish from ignorance is much more difficult than to experience a little shame, but at the same time to find out everything that interests you. And we are really in awe of those we love, we are afraid to say the wrong word, to scare them away. But if in order to communicate with a person, you have to maneuver and shake, as if you are going roller-skating along a shop with porcelain, can you yourself relax and get joy in such relationships?
Having built hopes and an image of a happy future, people spend months waiting, caring for a partner and believe that, apparently, some circumstances are simply hindering him. The desire to pause the relationship will not appear in the one who loves and respects you.
It is worth acting carefully
The most important thing is to do everything possible for your part, and if the response does not follow, you just need to accept it, and not torment yourself with unrequited love. Lovers often go to two extremes:
excessive secrecy, fear and a word to say about your own feelings;
when there is already no strength to endure and emotions have reached the limit, a volcano literally erupts - lava flows burst out, burning everything in its path, including the slightest chance of reconciliation.
Be wary of both of these two evils, look for a middle ground, be yourself, because wearing a mask and being good, feeling like you don't care, will always fail.
There is always a chance
Is it really so hopeless? After all, it happens that the pairs converge again. Of course, such situations have a place to be. But this requires a desire from both partners. No doubt, no one is perfect.
It is extremely difficult to meet a person for at least a year and not make mistakes. There are no saints among us, and ideal relationships, like a blue sky without a single cloud, exist only on the pages of books. If the initiator of the temporary gap rethinks the situation and changes his line of behavior, everything has a chance to form. It often happens that after a pause in a relationship, a new round of feelings begins.
There is a wonderful film by American director Jerry Rees, "The habit of getting married." In his story, the characters played by Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin appeared five times before the altar. Their story is full of passion and vivid emotions, although it could not do, of course, without difficulties. However, the partners, one way or another, returned to each other's arms. Those who are in heavy thought about the further development of their own personal life will be extremely useful to take the time to watch this romantic comedy.
Keep respect for yourself and your partner
Never say never"! It's hard to say how long a pause in a relationship lasts. Each pair is different. It happens that people do not see each other for years, and then a feeling flashes between them with renewed vigor.
In any case, a love affair should flow of good faith, and not because of the handcuffed marriage. It often happens that, getting used to our soul mate, we take it for granted, stop appreciating it, but after parting for a while, we become like a traveler in the desert who wants to drink water from his own well.
There is a well-known phrase: “Love - let go. If yours - will return. Otherwise, it was never yours. ” So it’s best to show your partner as clearly as possible that you are interested in him. If he wants to leave - this is his right, wants to return - he is always welcome.
In this case, you will feel much better than if you throw a scandal with beating plates and shouting: “I gave you the best years of my life!” If you love - let go ... It's not just about adoring your partner, but also about your love for yourself. Self-esteem is the core of the personality that the uncontrolled play of hormones should not break. And all disagreements arising will be resolved with the consent of both parties.