Quite often, a situation occurs in life when a husband and wife have different views on the same problem. But it is extremely bad when opinions differ on the most important issues of life. For example, when a wife does not want children, and the husband is passionate about having heirs. If there are good reasons for refusing to give birth and what to do for men in such situations, read below.
Irresponsibility
A woman may not be mentally prepared to answer for anyone other than herself. Like it or not, it is the mother who will spend most of her time with the baby. And if a girl has a wind in her head and she wants to go out with her friends or if a lady constantly goes to various social events, she will not be able to take responsibility for the baby. The woman perfectly understands this situation, but she is embarrassed to admit this to her husband. Indeed, at the age of 20, such an excuse sounds believable, but at age 30, when a woman says she is not ready to take responsibility for another living creature, it looks somehow strange. Nevertheless, this happens quite often. Basically, such problems are faced by women who have never and independently responsible for anything. At work, they do not seek to realize their inner potential, but at home, the ladies were first looked after by their parents, and then, husbands. It is difficult for girls to understand why they should leave the comfort zone and somehow redraw a well-built life.
Fear of giving birth to the wrong man
Some women delay the moment of birth of a child until they realize that a reliable man is next to them. If your wife does not want to have children, consider whether the woman trusts you. A girl who has recently married can adore her legal spouse, but do not feel trust in him as a person. A child is a big responsibility, and giving birth to a child from the wrong person is a big mistake. In order not to make a mistake, many women after several weddings look at their spouse and study the man’s behavior. If a guy in difficult situations gives up and throws off his problems to his wife, then the girl may refuse to give birth to such a person a child. The lady will understand that a man may want a child, but morally he is not ready to take responsibility for a new man.
And such situations are quite common that a girl marries a man only for the reason that all the girlfriends have already found their second halves, and she alone remained alone. In this situation, ladies often make a mistake by engaging in the first who offers a hand and heart. It is clear that from such a rogue, a woman will not have a desire to give birth to a child.
Desire to make a career
Why does the wife not want children? Some ladies want to realize their potential until they become a mother. Girls are well aware that on maternity leave, they will lose most of their knowledge and abilities. Catching up after thirty is much harder than building a career at twenty. Therefore, the ladies decide that first they will find their calling, realize their potential, and most importantly, find a place where they can return after the decree. Having established their life, the girls will be ready to give birth to a child. But for many young people, the process of self-realization is delayed. Not everyone can find a place in the sun for two or three years. Less successful individuals have to look for their path for five, or even ten years. During this time, even a very loving man can get tired of waiting for the heir. The husband will consider that the wife was too long in searching for herself, and she already has almost no chance not only to be realized, but also to have a baby.
Psychological trauma
Some ladies understand that men want children from them. But psychological trauma received in childhood, does not give girls the opportunity to set themselves up for motherhood. If the wife does not want to give birth to children, this means that she has a negative experience or bad memories. For example, a lady could already try to have a baby, but her child did not survive, or the lady had a miscarriage. After such a failure, the girls recover for a long time. But not everyone can decide after another tragedy.
If the girl had an unhappy childhood, then she will not want to become a mother. The woman will remember the disgust that her parents felt for her, and she will set herself up for the fact that she will experience similar feelings for her own child. In this case, the woman needs to overcome her complexes. Doing it yourself is very difficult. It is much easier to get rid of internal problems with the help of an experienced psychologist.
The desire to live for yourself
Do you have a young wife? Then it is quite natural that the girl has not yet known life, and she wants to know better all the advantages that freedom from parents gives. The lady will enjoy traveling, traveling and walking with friends. Do not be surprised that the young lady has a wind in her head. She will want to take a walk, learn something and go somewhere. Family comfort will not even be in second or third place. The husband of such a girl will complain to friends: "The wife does not want children." But in a similar situation, the young lady should not be blamed. When a lady walks up, she will understand that the main thing in life is the family, and that it is time to have an heir. But such awareness for some girls comes in 20 years, and some in 35. Everything will depend on how much the lady saw before she got married. If the girl lived under the strict supervision of her parents, did not go anywhere and saw very little in her life, then you should not think that she would like this closed life style in her new family.
The husband wants children, but the wife does not
By a certain age, in any normal person, a desire is formed to conceive heirs. In an ideal situation, such a desire arises in a family in which people live together, get along well with each other and love each other. But sometimes a situation arises that a woman is not yet ready for children, and her husband insists on becoming a father. The husband cannot openly press on his spouse, therefore, at the initial stage, he acts through persuasion. A man gives various arguments that a family can be considered complete only if it has a baby. If a woman refuses to listen to such speeches, the man is offended. But an intelligent woman does not refuse directly. She says that she’s not ready now, but a year or two will pass, and she will definitely give birth to a child. In most cases, this strategy works flawlessly. Worse when a wife is pregnant and does not want a baby. In this case, the man must take his spouse to a psychologist. If a man will exert psychological pressure on a woman who is in a position, then this will harm not only the girl, but also the child. Therefore, in such situations, you need to be extremely careful.
What to do to the husband?
When the spouses' views on the same problem diverge, you need to look for some kind of compromise. The wife does not want children - what to do? When a similar question arises, a man should first think about why his beloved woman does not want to give him heirs. Primarily, the cause must be sought not in the faithful, but in oneself. What should a man think about? Does he earn enough to provide for his family? Perhaps the young man has too little income, but the spouse is embarrassed to hint to her husband that with the advent of the child, the family will definitely grab money. Men who make good money should consider whether there is trust in the family. If there is no trust, then the wife will not want to have children. If everything in life is good, then you need to talk directly with your spouse and find out the reason for her unwillingness to continue her family.
Get divorced or wait?
Does your wife not want children? Divorce is not the best solution to the problem. But a man should not wait forever. The young man must decide whether he just wants children or he wants them from his girlfriend. Just wanting kids is stupid. Yes, a man can divorce his beloved wife and remarry a girl who, just like him, wants to have offspring. But in such a situation, one cannot be selfish. Understand that children will be happy only when they see daily the example of an exemplary family in which mom and dad love each other. And if in a family parents will only love children, such a relationship can hardly be called harmonious. Therefore, this option is valid only in extreme cases. It is better to try by all means to convince your beloved spouse to decide on pregnancy.
Reluctance to have a second child
You already have one cute baby, and you want your house to be replenished with another child, and your wife does not want children? In such a situation, the husband needs to act in the same way as a competent psychologist. A man should find out why his missus refuses to become a mother again. Perhaps there were problems with the first birth, or perhaps the girl restored the figure for a long time after she gained too much in the first pregnancy. When you establish the reason why the wife does not want a second child, it will be easier for you to act. In no case do not try to take the onslaught. A woman will not be able to love a baby who was conceived without her desire.
Psychologist's advice
What do specialists say to men who are faced with a problem when a beloved woman does not want to give birth to heirs?
- Find out why the wife does not want children, and try to eliminate the cause.
- If a woman is afraid of becoming a bad mother, then you need to raise your self-esteem with your every possible method.
- Did the woman have a difficult first birth or did she lose the baby during childbirth? In this case, the man will not be able to help his wife on his own. It will be necessary to turn to an experienced psychologist so that he helps a woman get out of a depressed state and re-believe in herself.
- The lady has not walked up yet and she is not ready for children? Do not rush the girl, everything has its time. Let her walk her own and then think about her procreation.