Harmonious relations between spouses is an incredibly painstaking work, in which both partners take part. But what if the “third superfluous” - the husband’s mother — constantly gets into the relationship? Very many women face the same problem: the husband listens to the advice of the mother-in-law, and she, in turn, constantly manipulates her son, intervenes in quarrels and conflicts that occur in the family, and often sets up her own child against the daughter-in-law. The problem of how to ward off a mother-in-law is truly global. Very often, conflicts with her husband’s mom cause a breakdown in relationships and even divorce. Even if you are well acquainted with psychology and apply all existing methods of diplomacy, this does not mean at all that you can influence your own mother-in-law. The fact is that there are types of people who are initially negative-minded. Any attempts to establish peaceful relations with such a person will not lead to anything. So how do you get along with your mother-in-law or how to ward off my husband from the mother-in-law? We suggest talking about this right now!
Psychological background
When getting married, each girl expects her and her husband to have a friendly and strong family. Unfortunately, sometimes these dreams remain only dreams. Nervousness and serious disorder in the relationship makes the mother in law. Why the mother-in-law does not love the daughter-in-law? Psychology gives the answer: the fact is that many mothers cannot reconcile themselves with the thought that their adorable boy has grown up, got out of parental control and guardianship. The mother continues to monitor every step of her son, regularly comes to his house with checks, can call dozens of times a day, demand a minute report. Of course, this will unnerve his wife.
A special role is played by the man’s excessive attachment to his mother. You won’t be able to get rid of this problem overnight. The fact is that the dependence of these two people on each other was formed over the years. Maternal hyper-custody can have many secret intentions and causes. When deciding on how to discourage a husband from his mother-in-law, you will have to fight not with the character of this woman, but with those images and affections that have long been included in the subconscious of the husband and his mother. The fact is that if your spouse had a desire to get rid of an excessively annoying mother, he would have done it a long time ago. Your main task is to awaken this desire in him.
Two housewives in one kitchen
The situation is aggravated when the couple live in the house of the mother-in-law. One woman will sooner or later have a desire to take the reins of government. If the daughter-in-law lives on the territory of her mother-in-law, she will have to be very tight, especially when this is her husband’s childhood home, where she is a newcomer, albeit a loved one. Of course, it is very difficult to find some kind of universal recipe that allows you to simplify the existence, but there are a number of rules, following which you can solve the problem of how to discourage her husband from her mother in law forever!
Nonaggression pact
Many women ask themselves: “What if the mother-in-law lives with us and turns her husband against me”? Psychologists say: when you try to remake everything in your own way in the husband’s mom’s house, first of all try to think about whether you would like a situation when someone hosts your kitchen? The first rule can be deduced: in no case do you make rationalization proposals in the organization of your mother-in-law's life. You can either be silent or admire this woman as a mistress. In no case do not complain to her husband's mom about the behavior of the second half. In her eyes, you should always be satisfied with your own husband. The fact is that she can both listen to you and sympathize, but she will always be on the side of her child. Do not allow the mother-in-law to engage in conflicts and showdown! Remember, in such a dispute, truth is not born, you can only find a negative attitude towards each other. Please note: this in no case should look like your defeat or weak character! Just try to switch the attention of the mother-in-law to completely extraneous things during disputes.
The absence of ultimatums
Of course, one can understand the discontent and annoyance of the daughter-in-law due to the fact that the mother-in-law constantly sets up the spouse against her. However, it is necessary to refrain from scandals and quarrels, and even more so from ultimatums like "Choose: either me or her." Do not forget that it will be difficult for your spouse to make a decision, because he literally finds himself between two fires. In no case do not interfere with his meetings with his mother, thereby you can only worsen an already difficult situation. In this case, in the eyes of the spouse, his relatives and friends, you will appear as a selfish, insensitive and jealous woman. And believe me, in order to convince everyone around you of this, your mother-in-law will spare no time or effort.
Out of sight, out of mind
The most reliable way to get rid of the mother-in-law monster is to go to hell! In the event that after the wedding you intend to live or already live with this woman under one roof, there will be absolutely no sense in further actions. You don’t discourage your husband from your mother-in-law, but she can do something similar. That’s why you move: no matter where - to the other end of the city, to another region, or even better to the other end of the country. So you will have to see mother-in-law much less often. It is the condition of territorial remoteness, according to psychologists, that allows us to solve the question of how to discourage my husband from my mother in law. In your soulmate sprouts of independence and psychological independence from their mother will hatch. You just have to direct the events in the direction you need.
The flip side of the coin
True, this method may have several disadvantages. For example, it may turn out that your spouse is completely unable to make decisions, for a long period of time you will have to direct him, babysit with him and endure his whims. It is you who will have to replace his mother for some time in all spheres of life. Psychologists recommend creating their own rules for the husband instead of the mother ones that were lost. Of course, at first you will have to make decisions alone, giving your husband only instructions. Of course, this is not the best option, but the spouse will be entirely yours.
It is possible that your chosen one has long wanted to escape from his mother, but was worried that he would lose a number of amenities. Only by getting rid of the maternal yoke, he will be able to understand the superiority of an independent life. In the event that the annoying mother continues to bother, and your husband follows her lead, try to play a performance: provoke a situation where the interests of your soulmate and his mother collide, as they say, "head-on". For example, if your spouse is going to a football match and has already bought tickets, try to arrange with your mother-in-law about a visit to her on the same day, promise her that your husband and her son will take her to the cottage or to the clinic that day. Is it possible to refuse a mother? Such a moment, according to psychologists, will turn the tide of hostilities with a bad mother-in-law in your direction and push it away from your family.
Night cuckoo
What to do if the mother-in-law interferes with life? Specialists in the field of family relations argue: putting a husband before a choice between himself and his mother is the greatest stupidity. Life between two fires will certainly end in scandals and even depression. You will never be able to excommunicate a husband from his own person, because any child always worries about his parents. Experts recommend prioritizing in bed. Yes, you understood everything correctly: for some time you will have to manipulate your husband through love joys. The word "wife" should be associated with passionate nights, and your name should be the key to erotic memories. After this, the advice of a psychologist - how to ward off a husband from his mother-in-law - you will no longer need. Monologues of the husband’s mother with negative coloring will fly in one ear and fly into the other!
Open dialogue
As long as the presence of the mother-in-law is felt in your life literally at every step, try talking frankly with your spouse. Explain the situation to him. This should be done as calmly as possible, the emphasis in such a conversation should be on the fact that he is a grown man. At the same time, it is extremely important not to demonstrate a negative attitude towards his mother. Just gently hint that there are too many mother-in-laws in your personal life. The time that the husband spends on telephone conversations or visits to her can be made much more interesting and inspiring! In no case do not swear in-law, do not use expressions such as "Your mother got me!" From a pure principle, your husband can remember how many times a “beloved” mother-in-law got him. So, the conversation will end with a transition to personalities and a terrible scandal. Instead, clarify that you understand that mom is worried about her child, wants him to feel good. After this, the main argument should be made: explain to your husband that he is an adult and independent man, the head of the family, you should not be allowed to treat yourself like a helpless baby.
Nobody's perfect
What if mother-in-law is a monster? Is it possible to excommunicate her husband from her? Experts say: her own misconduct will help you with this! In the event that the relationship with the husband’s mom does not work out, try to make your spouse very disappointed in her. The fact is that over the years he has developed a definite opinion about his mother. In the event that you are able to provoke a sharp deviation from the usual image, this can simply disorient your spouse. He may not accept the new image of mom and even reject it for a long time.
Reduce communication
Often women complain: "The mother-in-law sets up her husband against me." What to do in such a situation? Shorten the spouse's contacts with his mom. You need to find specious pretexts that will allow you to do this. Of course, sometimes this is very difficult, because many mother-in-law put pressure on pity, saying that this is the fate of all mothers: to raise a child and become unnecessary, some women begin to reproach their son for selfishness and ingratitude. How many times did your husband hear from his mother: “I gave birth to you, raised you, and now your wife comes first for you!”? Be unwavering. You can refer to her husband’s employment at work, his sports activities or something else. But in no case do not talk about the poor health of the spouse, in this situation you will never get rid of the bad mother-in-law!
Bitchy mother in law
The most difficult type of mother-in-law is an overbearing woman who is used to absolutely everything obeying her. Most often, such a lady has only one son, of course, she will control even the process of his breathing! It is incredibly difficult to discourage your chosen one from such a mother-in-law. Moreover, she simply will not allow you to establish diplomatic relations with her. In you she will see only a servant for her own son. However, she is firmly convinced that you are not a couple of her adored child. What should I do if I cannot get away from such a “armageddon in a skirt” to another continent, or even to the other end of the city? How to behave with a mother in law who sees you as an enemy? Psychologists recommend that this situation not be left to chance, because the main goal of the mother-in-law despot is your divorce. The thing is that her beloved son is the basis of her existence, she has absolutely no other goals. That is why psychologists recommend trying to find a new meaning in life for this woman. To do this, you need to carefully study the interests of the husband's mother, her dreams and plans. For example, if she has always dreamed of planting crocuses and tulips all her life, and instead works as, say, a primary school teacher, give her a small greenhouse, of course, as an addition to a cozy country house. Believe me, all your expenses will pay off three times! It is extremely important to approach this process creatively and in no case to deviate from the intended goal.
We act the old fashioned way
Women who find themselves in a difficult situation related to their mother-in-law cannot be envied. Very often, they lack neither strength, nor imagination, nor simply time to understand how to ward off her husband from her mother-in-law. In ancient times, it was customary to fight such women with the help of various lapels and conspiracies. Part of the magical rites has reached us, after which the mother and son cease to be interested in each other. Which ritual to choose? It depends on what kind of relationship your family has. The fact is that for each case, completely different options are suitable.
For example, a number of conspiracies help get rid of annoying moralizing, others are aimed at ensuring that the mother of your other half does not interfere in your personal relationships. And sometimes young women want their mother-in-law to completely forget the way to the house. Esoterics first of all recommend performing a ritual that helps to establish relations with the mother-in-law. He stops swearing and awakens love for his daughter-in-law in the heart of her husband’s mother. In order to perform this ritual, you will need to purchase 7 candles in the temple and bake a pie with your own hands. The best time for this is a full moon or a rising moon. Around midnight, you need to place candles on the floor, you should get a circle. At exactly 12 o’clock you need to light candles, put a pie in the middle of the circle and stand in it yourself. After that, you need to read the following text 7 times:
Now I have a mother, the one who gave birth to my lover! So that there were no obstacles between us, calm reigned and everything went smoothly! I attract the forces of goodness and love to the hearth, the envious enemy will not penetrate there! To get rid of anger and hatred, and to get rid of hostility! I have prepared a delicious pie, as you taste a sweet piece, So love me and my daughter-in-law will name me! From now on you will forever be like a legitimate mother to me! Candles will help me in the darkness, a conspiracy of love, sending you! Amen!
These words can be learned, or you can write by hand on white paper. After that, the candles should burn out completely, the cinders should be wrapped in paper on which the plot was written, then bury them in a place where a person’s foot does not step. And the pie will need to be eaten together with her husband’s mother. In the event that the mother-in-law is too actively interfering in family affairs, while exerting a strong influence on her son, a conspiracy will help to push her away from home. The rite is quite simple, for it should choose the time when the moon is waning. At sunrise, you need to take a handful of salt in the palm of your hand and say the following words:
Salt is salt, white salt, bulk salt! Help the servant of God (name) to drive me away from my house, so that she can live her life, do her own business, and not be interested in mine or mine, but not climb. Help get rid of her advice and complaints. Save from anger and hostility. Make that the road to our house is forgotten, Yes, stopped going to us! Amen!
You need to repeat such a plot nine times in a row, and then sprinkle salt at the threshold of the mother-in-law's house. After a month, you need to carry out the ritual again. You will see that the mother-in-law will become less interested in the affairs of her son, will find herself a fascinating occupation and will cease to endlessly fit into your life!