At all times, children were born constantly and without close attention to this issue of parents. This was simply not necessary. But something has clearly changed in today's state of affairs. What was the reason that the question of how to have children already sounds painful and even hopeless for our society? I will not touch upon the problems of ecology, health and financial opportunities. They are, of course, important, but not of such decisive importance. Otherwise, it would not be in the neighborhood of large families where it’s hard to even talk about well-being. I believe that the main reason should not be sought here.
From my own experience I will say that most of the causes of our failures, misfortunes, and even illnesses are in ourselves, namely in our head, psyche, and in our thoughts. It does not make sense to eagerly reread all articles on pregnancy issues, to look mournfully with mummies with strollers, and even more so to experience all the traditional and even unthinkable methods of conception. I can’t guarantee that this will be one hundred percent success, but first sort out yourself, and then most of the factors will disappear on their own. Do not allow other things to influence your life. This is the secret of
large families, they generally never wondered how to have children.
In most cases, medicine is simply powerless to establish the causes of infertility. Most likely, the first and main problem here is fear and constant hesitation: whether to have a baby at all. Analyze! At 15, you were scared of an early pregnancy, and you were afraid. At the institute, you were afraid that your parents would speak against your grandchildren, they would not help, and you still hadn't walked up. After the university, it was necessary to stand on its own feet, build a career, acquire housing, amenities and so on. All somehow there was no time, desire and opportunity. So, you yourself gave the installation to your body that you simply do not need children. Moreover, they gave it at a time when the basic life functions were aimed specifically at childbirth.
So, your first and main task is to be ready yourself. To do this, it is necessary to eradicate this deeply ingrained attitude from oneself and direct all one's internal forces, thoughts and impulses in the right direction. Your true female nature will help you, just free it in yourself, stop pinching it with the conventions of time, status and position. And stop reproaching yourself for everything and exhausting with different questions. In a word, become free!
The next important question is the statement that has been buzzing all ears that children are born out of love and nothing more. Judging by everyday practice, this is far from the case. But there is one "but." If you dream of a child, family comfort, the well-being of your new life as a gift, you really need to give birth to a child out of love. Your thoughts, mood, desires give the first and deepest installation for the formation of a new person. And love is the most powerful and true feeling, creating only the beautiful. With such a first installation, the little man you have born will be more confident in this difficult life, for you have already laid a spark of happiness in him. And it doesn’t matter if you personally managed to preserve your well-being, beloved and strong family. Unfortunately, it does not always work out the way you want. But you aspired to this, and this is the main thing.
How to have children? It is very important that this issue worries not only the future mother, but also the future father. It is simply necessary that a man also wants a child. And he didn’t just want, for example, as pride, a successor to the family, self-realization, but as his part, the continuation of himself and his love for a woman. Often a mother wants a child, and a man at best just loves her and agrees with her. And, believe me, this is difficult to fight. But moving in this direction is even worth it. If your husband does not share with you the joys of the child’s expectations, he will not be able to share with you the difficulties of the first years of the baby’s life. And if the father does not make friends with the newborn, then over time it will be harder and harder to find a common language with both the baby and you. Therefore, do not miss the opportunity to draw the attention of your man to the issue of having a baby. Always share your concerns and take into account his opinion. This is all very important.
Not so everything is easily done, as they say. But if you manage to solve these basic nuances, then your love and desire will prompt the desired direction yourself. Then you will find the right solution for your family on your own. Then the tips and the experience of others will be superfluous for you. Learn to feel your situation from the inside, with the depth of your heart, in order to personally feel your needs and requirements. Then you will be able to make the right decisions just for you and your family.
Maybe the described problem situation has its advantages. After all, simply raising the question of whether or not to have a child already sets parents in a responsible attitude to this problem. And if earlier this process was entirely left to God's care, now the couple also has moral responsibility for the new man. Therefore, the main answer to the question of how to have children in current families, in my opinion, should sound like this: "With great responsibility." That's just a responsible attitude to something always carries with it additional difficulties. But do not despair, just move in the right direction and always work on yourself. And you will surely succeed.
Not everything is in our power, but we can do something. Therefore, do not forget the saying: "Trust in God, but do not lie yourself!" Good luck to you and your family!