Each of us dreams of happiness. For many people, it is directly related to a loved one. And to be precise, with an invented ideal. Finding it is very difficult. All people are different and may not like each other in terms of character and appearance. Therefore, you have to first meet, and then part. And for many people, this process occurs repeatedly. Perhaps everyone will agree that parting is always painful and unpleasant. Moreover, both for the initiator and for the abandoned partner. In this article, we will talk about how to part correctly, so as not to torment yourself, but to enjoy the unexpectedly opened opportunities and prospects. So let's get started.
Reasons for the breakup
Not all people are equally serious about relationships. Some begin to meet from boredom and loneliness, others - sincerely fall in love and can not imagine life without a new found partner. There are those who start relationships exclusively for sex.
In fact, there can be many reasons. But in all cases the same thing is the same - we need something from this person: love, care, material content, satisfaction of sexual needs, joint walks, etc. Each has his own set of similar expectations. It is precisely these that man endows with his own ideal. To this are added physical data (hair, eye color, complexion, etc.). The resulting image is tried on each time by a new partner. And the greater the degree of compliance, the higher the likelihood of a continuation of the relationship. Sometimes people just need a match in appearance. But it can also happen that the ideal corresponds only in physical parameters, and in other areas - complete disappointment. Then there is a desire to find a new partner.
How to leave?
Below we describe a number of simple rules that will help you in this difficult process. They will turn the separation into a simple inevitability, and it will be much easier to accept.
1. Use your experience
Some people already have an idea of how to leave. When trying a new break, they use their past experience, trying to report it in a suitable environment and in the most gentle form. After all, any separation is a great stress for both partners. Although here everything will depend on the situation. Many people have no desire to communicate after a break. Therefore, they can declare it in the most rude form.
2. Remote break
Sometimes the initiator of this process is women who know how to part with a man. Many of them are not able to tell a person about the breakup in person (fear of scandal, excitement, etc.), therefore, modern technologies are used. Girls write a message on the social network or SMS to the phone. This method is suitable for men.
Be sure to apply this method in case of inadequacy or excessive emotionality of your partner. After all, it happens that in a personal meeting, a breakdown ends in a scandal, or worse - assault.
3. Be honest
Sometimes people who don’t know how to part correctly come up with a beautiful story with a detailed description of the reasons. More likely the partner will feel the falsity. And in this case it is better to prepare for what he asks about the real reason for the breakup. Tell him the truth. But it is not necessary to delve into minor details. It’s important not to lie. Then even after parting, you can maintain friendly relations.
Speak with your partner all your accumulated discontent and resentment. It is likely that they will not be so significant. Perhaps, after clarifying the relationship, the question of parting will disappear by itself.
It is worth noting here that not every person needs to tell the truth. For example, a man who does not know how to part with his beloved can say many offensive words to her. If a girl is impulsive, then at least it will result in scandal. Well, after she can tell your general environment about the "best" qualities of her ex.
4. Ask for forgiveness
Do not know how to part with your beloved man or woman? It's simple: apologize. Only this must be done sincerely. Be sure to specify what exactly you apologize for. Thus, you can significantly mitigate the reaction of the partner. Apologize and goodbye regardless of who initiated the breakup.
5. Give thanks
No matter how difficult your relationship at this stage is, find the courage to say “thank you” to the person. Thanks are for all the good that happened between you. Perhaps the current partner helped to understand what kind of person you really need. This also happens sometimes. Gratitude is a great power. She will avoid negative feelings in the process of parting and maintain a positive attitude.
6. Give vent to emotions
If you feel bad, then do not lock yourself. It is proved that negative emotions negatively affect the body. Therefore, you need to give them a way out. The easiest way is tears. They help a lot. You can call a girlfriend or boyfriend to “cry in a vest”. The main thing - do not get carried away with self-pity. Otherwise, it can drag on and lead to depression.
7. Let him go
Many women ask themselves: "How to part with a man whom you love?". On the one hand, they understand that the relationship has become obsolete. On the other hand, they still feel for a man. Therefore, after the break, they continue to run after a partner. No need to do that. Thus, you only humiliate your own dignity. Forget about the former and believe that in your life everything happens for the better. If the breakup happened, a new person will appear soon and make you happier.
8. Switch attention
The properties of our memory are such that we perfectly remember events with a bright emotional coloring. It doesn’t matter negative or positive. The most reminiscent of emotions that a person received recently. The frequency with which brightly colored events occur also matters. The less often they occur, the longer the person remembers them. Equally important is the ratio of positive and negative situations. For example, if positive events constantly occur in a person’s life, and here the unexpected happens unexpectedly, then it will linger in memory for a long time. And it will "pop up" in my thoughts every day.
The same goes for breaking up a relationship. For most people, the first breakup is generally shock therapy. Especially for a girl who does not know how to part with a married man. As a lover, she receives from him many bright emotions: gifts, trips to various institutions, walks, compliments, romantic evenings, etc. It is quite natural that a break in relations will become a negative event for her. The same is true for the stronger sex.
And then it all depends on the individual. People whose life is filled with vivid emotions (no matter negative or positive) will be able to quickly switch to the new and forget about the old. It will be much harder for those who lead a boring monotonous life. It is difficult for them to disengage. For many, this generally happens once in a lifetime. The conclusion is simple: you cannot forget. But you can deprive a negative memory of the emotional background. It is simple to do this: add new positive events equal or superior to it in life.
Take a look at those who, after breaking up, begin to drink or go into all serious ways (changing partners like gloves). They do this unknowingly to search for new impressions and emotions that will help to forget about a negative event. But, alas, alcohol will not save. A change of partners will be effective only if you allow yourself to fall in love again. In general, when the soul is very bad and you can’t forget the unpleasant situation, urgently look for vivid impressions and new emotions. This can be a parachute jump, rafting, flying in a wind tunnel, karting, horseback riding, completing a quest, an excursion to the mountains, etc.
9. Get rid of reminders
Photographing a man is like himself. And periodically looking at her, we seem to meet him again and again. But after parting, it is very painful. So, all the pictures should be removed from prominent places. It is not necessary to burn them in the bin. Although in some situations this will be the only way out. Also hide or discard gifts received from the partner. In general, get rid of everything that binds you and can cause memories of him.
10. You cannot enter the same river twice
Women who do not know how to part with their husband, after the break, continue to hope for a restoration of relations. This is because their feelings have not died out yet. But you need to objectively assess the situation. More likely, the relationship will not resume. Of course, if a woman knows exactly the reason, for example, her husband left because of her completeness, then the situation is fixable. She can go on a diet and sign up in the gym. But this does not mean that the spouse will return with one hundred percent probability. Anyway, everything can turn out the other way around. The woman is prettier and she will have many fans, from whom she will choose a worthy replacement for her ex-husband. Everything is completely individual. It should only be remembered that even in the event of a resumption of relations, they will never become the same.
11. Accept everything as it is and just trust in fate
This principle has long been adopted by those people who know how to leave. A person in such a situation is often controlled only by emotions, and he does many rash things. But this energy is better spent not on the struggle, but on the search for a new partner. The best thing to do when breaking up is to accept the situation and let things go their own way.