As the classic said: all families are unhappy in their own way. Features of the relationship affect the behavior of partners, their values and habits. You are in a difficult situation that you describe to your friends as follows: do we live with your husband as neighbors? There is an urgent need to do something about this. Look for tips below.
Strong relationships are a constant job
People like to receive dividends, but rarely want to work so that the reward is well-deserved. It is difficult to do something if you do not see the result of your actions in the moment. And so it turns out that you live in harmony with your husband, and then look, and the person next to you has changed. It seems that nothing happened, you live as usual, but something goes wrong. If you let things go by chance, then do not be surprised that in the near future you will find yourself in a situation that will be characterized by the phrase: we live with my husband as neighbors.
In order not to eliminate the consequence of the problem, it is necessary to prevent the causes of the breakdown in relations. Start by warming the senses. Constantly work to ensure that your husband does not grow cold to you. Go to the cinema, make romantic dates at home and don't turn relationships into a routine. It will ruin your life if joint walks will be routine for you, and not a holiday. The love that you felt at the beginning of the relationship can be maintained on an ongoing basis, for this both partners must make considerable efforts.
Talk more
A friend complains to you: we live with my husband as neighbors. Advise the girl to communicate more with her fellow believer. The problem with many couples is that they do not speak much. Living together not only kills romance, but can also deprive people of conversation. In the morning, the husband and wife go to work, in the evening they return home, share the events that happened during the day, and then disperse into different rooms. Former lovers stop sharing plans, dreams and hopes with each other. They think it's silly to devote a soul mate to them. But if you do not, the relationship will deteriorate very quickly. A couple that does not have trust in each other will certainly break up.
Be sure to provoke your husband to be frank. Ask the man what he thinks, what he dreams of. Members of the same family should have common plans. So at your leisure you can plan your weekend, month and next year. A registered future together helps people realize the role of a loved one in their life.
Give husband attention
Before the wedding, girls can exalt a man and mentally put him on a pedestal. After the wedding, the situation changes. The woman has confidence that her husband will not go anywhere, so she ceases to idolize him. The man is surprised at the sharp cooling, but nevertheless perceives him as another round of development of relations.
The situation changes when a child appears in the family. A woman spends all her free time with her child. There is no time left for her husband. Such a situation does not suit a man, he will at first be jealous of the girl, but not having achieved reciprocity, he will go looking for love on the side. So several months will pass unnoticed, and upon their expiration the woman will complain to her mother: we live with her husband as neighbors. The lady will not admit her guilt. She takes care of the child, which does not suit her husband. And the fact that the man was left alone and lacks warmth and affection, the woman simply will not understand.
Go to the psychologist
People rarely try to figure out their motivation and their aspirations. Often they are not able to argue their own actions and, as a result, cannot predict in advance what this or that action will lead to. Do you live with your husband as neighbors? What to do in such a situation?
If partners cannot understand the reason for cooling their feelings, then they need to contact a psychologist. A specialist will be able to help the family if both partners seek to somehow rectify the situation. If the wife and husband insist on psychotherapy, the woman will drag him by force, the procedure will not bring any benefits. Relationships are work in which both partners are directly involved. It is impossible to inflame love unilaterally.
Respect your husband’s interests
People often come across misunderstandings. But when such clashes occur in the family - it's scary. Partners should respect each other and if not to share interests, then at least approve them. Have you met families in which husband and wife live as neighbors? The problem with such couples is that the woman does not support the interests of the husband. For example, a man may have a passion for designing or for collecting electronics. If a woman every day itches over her lover's ear that his stupid hobby takes time, money and brings nothing to the family, then scandal cannot be avoided. You need to understand that anyone needs an outlet. For someone, computer games become it, for someone reading, and for someone, applied art. The wife must learn to share the interests of the husband. If this does not work out, then simply respect the occupation of the man and support his desire to fulfill himself in the chosen field.
Do not scandal for no reason
Many women are accustomed to proving their case with a cry or tears. When the arguments in the argument end, the girl changes the tactics of the discussion. She raises her voice and begins to put pressure on the man with authority, or she manipulates the guy’s mind with tears. Such scandals lead to the alienation of partners. If at first the quarrels ended with a passionate reconciliation, then after the wedding, the relationship changes. They become less passion, but more trust and respect.
Do you live with your husband as neighbors? It is time to urgently change the situation. Think about how often you shout at a man? Every day, three times a week? Stop scandal. Learn to resolve disputes peacefully. Can't argue your position? Read more, expand your vocabulary, and train your eloquence. The skill of calm dialogue will help you normalize relations not only with your husband, but also with everyone around you.
Give man more freedom
Why are girls jealous of their husbands? Because women have confidence issues. The more a person winds himself, the more she believes in a story invented by herself. And the more often a wife reproaches her husband for infidelity, the more there are reasons for a man to justify undeserved reproaches. More often than not, wives push their husbands on treason on their own.
Does your husband cheat on you? You live as neighbors, what to do with the problems that have come to pass? You need to change your attitude towards life. Cheating on those girls who deserve it. The more a lady presses on a man, the more he wants to break out of captivity. No need to limit the freedom of your husband. A man will not leave you if you are really dear to him. And to keep close a person who constantly looks to the left does not make sense. Stop controlling your beloved's life and don’t bother the guy with eternal questions. Let the person behave as he wants. This tactic will help you maintain a good relationship for many years.
Do not take quarrels out of the family
Grievances and misunderstandings people are accustomed to accumulate in themselves. If you do not accept the situation and do not let go of the problem, it will someday come out. Try not to be offended by the person and speak with your husband all situations in which you feel uncomfortable. Some women are afraid to speak frankly with a man and turn to friends for advice. This is not worth doing. If a man finds out that all friends are aware of problems in your family, he will be unpleasant, painful and offended. The problems of two people should be solved precisely by them, and not by someone else. If you do not turn to your soulmate for requests and advice, you will soon live with your husband as neighbors.
What to do? The advice of a psychologist is very simple. Is there a quarrel or argument? Solve the problem right away. Do not complain about the disagreement to friends. During the pause you took to cool down, consider the situation, and then discuss it with your husband. The man will be grateful that you are looking for help and support from him.
Be honest
Frankness in conversation is the key to the success of any normal relationship. Do you live with your husband as neighbors? The psychologist’s advice will be this: every time you want to say the phrase “you should”, replace it with the phrase “I want to.” Then you will immediately decrease the number of reproaches that you wanted to address to your husband. Remember that no one owes you anything. The man agreed to tie your life with you, but he did not agree to listen to your tantrums and claims. Moreover, he did not agree all his life to be obligated to you because you deigned to marry him.
The secret to replacing phrases is that a woman ceases to think from the position that her husband is her slave. The lady begins to realize that her desires may be too high. If she comes to her chosen one during the day and says “I want you to hang a picture”, “I want you to walk with a dog”, then he will soon realize that the man is not such an idler as she thought in the house from a lot depends on him. A simple restructuring of consciousness helps a woman value her man more.
Live for yourself, not for children
If everything in your life is very bad, and you do not know how to live on, then you should get a divorce. Did you hear the phrase: we live with her husband as neighbors for the sake of children? There is nothing worse in life than pronouncing it. Children will never appreciate the mother’s life laid on the altar of their happiness. A child who has grown in abundance, but in a family where parents do not love each other, will be much more unhappy than a person who did not have much, but saw her mother happy. Therefore, never put personal happiness lower than anyone else's. You have come to this world to make it better and brighter. If your husband turned out to be an unworthy type and you can’t establish a relationship, go away. You can still find a decent person who will make you happy.