Relations between a woman and a man always develop in a special way and are never simple. There are no two identical love stories. Parting is not similar. It was through this uniqueness that personal dramas, experiences, and attracted from time immemorial poets, prose writers, songwriters, artists, screenwriters, sculptors, directors and other creators of art.
Extremely many books have been written about love and the tragedy of separation, films have been shot. It is not surprising that after a breakdown, a desire arises to write something of your own, to talk about what your heart is filled with, or to entrust to paper everything that could not be said out loud. And, of course, to whom can such a message be addressed, if not to the person, about the feelings to which he is talking?
Why write such letters?
Why write to an ex-boyfriend? There is no single answer to this question, just as there are no similar stories of relationships and partings. Each girl who takes up a pen pursues her own goals, and far from always always specious.
Someone writes secretly hoping for the return of a loved one. Some just want to talk about their feelings, because for some reason they did not have time to do this before. Others need a letter to the ex-boyfriend so that he cries and realizes how stupid he was, as the people say, "so that he bites his elbows." And someone just feels bad and needs to speak frankly with someone.
Not so important what are the reasons for writing a farewell message. If there is a spiritual need for this action, then you don’t need to think about what the guy’s reaction will be or what friends will think about, you just have to sit down and write.
According to psychologists, such letters contribute to emotional recovery after a breakup. In other words, they help people cope with their grief, disappointment, resentment. Therefore, there is no need to think about why to do this, you need to reflect on what to write to the ex-boyfriend.
What to write about?
It would seem that the question of what the letter should be devoted to has a simple answer - to tested feelings. But everything is not as easy as it seems at first glance. If you sit down at the table and write down everything you want to say, you will definitely get a chaotic and long message. Or, on the contrary, a short and full note of insults and insults. Therefore, the question of what to write to a former guy is important.
To get started, you just need to fix on paper what comes to mind. This will be a kind of draft, the contents of which will help to understand your own motives and determine the purpose of the message. This point is extremely important, since the letter sent to restore relations cannot be similar to the purpose of which is to cause remorse and guilt. Girls who are breaking up with a loved one do not always know what they want to achieve by sending a letter to their ex-boyfriend. Therefore, psychologists recommend setting out their thoughts and feelings on paper, carefully re-reading what was written, trying to perceive the text “from the side”.
Of course, it is extremely important not to dissemble with you. It is not always easy to recognize the true motives of one's desires and actions. Many girls are even ashamed of their feelings, believing that they indicate a lack of pride, dignity, self-esteem. But only being extremely sincere with oneself, one can understand the true motivation and, of course, determine the goals of the letter. This is important because it is the goal that dictates the content and style of writing. In other words, only by understanding your own emotions, you can understand what to write about to a former boyfriend.
What should be such a letter?
Of course, the letter to the ex-boyfriend should be sincere. But besides this, without a doubt, the main task, it must correspond to a number of other requirements. It's no secret that the perception of information, and of the surrounding world as a whole, is different for boys and girls. Women and men do not relate equally to the manifestation of feelings. In other words, what can touch a girl may well leave a guy indifferent or even cause him irritation.
Before you start writing a letter to your ex-boyfriend, you need to think about and remember how he reacted to certain romantic gestures, feature films, books, or any life events.
This is extremely important, because the letter is addressed to a specific person, it is designed to cause him certain emotions. Accordingly, the guidelines for writing should be the features of emotional perception and preferences, tastes. According to psychologists, thinking about what the letter will be like, many girls realize that they completely do not imagine the inner world of their former boyfriend. And this leads to an understanding of the reasons for the breakdown of relations and often even their renewal. After all, not every girl at the beginning of a relationship analyzes the behavior of a loved one on the basis of an analysis of his inner world.
If we start only when writing from our own ideas, then we can not only not achieve the desired result, but also make the situation even worse. For example, a girl loves poetry, is kind of ardent, romantic and impressionable, capable of being moved to tears while watching a movie. Her former boyfriend, by personality, is a pragmatist, materialist, who considers uncomfortable public or excessively violent manifestation of feelings. Based on her own emotional preferences, the girl believes that the beautiful verses she sent to her will bring the young man to tears, affect his heart. And he immediately runs to her, falls to his knees and begins to beg for forgiveness and a second chance.
However, in reality, everything happens exactly the opposite. The guy doesn’t just not run in tears, he also blacklisted his ex-girlfriend on all social networks and directly on the phone.
Why is this happening? Because when writing the message, the girl was guided exclusively by her own preferences. It is her, not the young man, who can touch poetry to tears. The materialist guy needs something completely different. A concise and short letter, figuratively speaking, “on the merits of the matter”, would have hurt him and made me wonder if the break in relations was not a mistake.
However, the advice to be guided when writing a message with the peculiarities of the emotional perception of the ex-boyfriend does not make the girl pretend at all. It is only a matter of expressing one’s feelings and thoughts in an understandable and intelligible way for a young man. The experiences themselves, no doubt, must be real.
The preferences of the former boyfriend should be guided by other characteristics of the letter - the length of the text, design, speech style and others.
How to write in verses?
Poetry is a genre loved by many women, not without reason, most poets are men. Before deciding to send a letter to a former guy in poetry, it is worth considering how sensitive he is to poetry. You also need to pay attention to the length of the letter. Do not write a ballad in several chapters. Even the most romantic young man in the world will not be delighted with the need to read the likeness of the Iliad or Eugene Onegin. Moreover, by the end of the reading, the guy will simply forget what was said at the beginning.
When writing a message in verse, it makes sense to leave an understatement, not to go into details and details. As a role model, it is quite possible to take any lyrical modern song. If the former boyfriend has a favorite performer, then it makes sense to use his texts as the basis of the letter.
The most important rule of what should be a letter containing a poem and addressed to a former guy from a girl is the originality of the text. Do not take ready-made poems from the Internet. Having received such a message, a young man will not feel himself the only one in the world, on the contrary, such poetry is an indicator of a completely different attitude. This shows how little people mean to the author of the letter. However, verses can be used as a basis and sent to a loved one, replacing some of the words in them with their own.
Sample verses
Writing in a poetic genre can be as follows:
“There are many reasons for parting, they can hardly be counted all of them ...
Perhaps you and I have different roads in your life.
Or is it all a coincidence?
Nonsense of a sad series?
Why, tell me, do we need a farewell
If love in hearts is still alive?
It was so stupid not to forgive insults,
It’s ridiculous to play principles.
And the little things that are not visible,
Give the meaning of the universe.
But the weather is passing,
Replacing the sunbeam ...
Perhaps you and I are not too late
To go through life under one umbrella? ”
Of course, the content of the poem must be consistent with the purpose of the letter. If a girl does not seek to renew relations, then one should not hint at such an opportunity.
How to draw up a letter?
A fairly common mistake is an email. For a former guy who abandoned a girl and makes her suffer, it is not so difficult to simply delete such a message without even looking into it. But it’s much harder not to read a handwritten letter enclosed in a beautiful envelope. Therefore, the design of the message should be approached with no less attention than its content.
Do not abuse the sweet girl’s soul decor - broken hearts, cooing doves and other similar design elements. They are good only when used in moderation.
However, the envelope space and the letter itself do not need to be left empty either. Blank paper depersonalizes the message, does not cause any associations. In other words, the message must be revived, decorated, but at the same time, moderate.
How to say goodbye to a letter?
Not always letters are sent after the breakup of relations, sometimes in them the need arises just when you want to end the romance. Contrary to popular belief, it is very difficult for girls to part with young people. Not everyone is able to have a frank conversation and showdown. In such a situation, letters help.
A farewell letter to the ex-boyfriend should be kept in a respectful and friendly tone. The message informing the person of the termination of the relationship should not use verses. There is also no need to allow ambiguities in the text, to leave hope for the renewal of the novel.
The key requirements for the content of the farewell letter are honesty and respect towards the addressee. Following them, it is completely possible to avoid soreness at break and remain good friends.
Farewell Letter Example
That could be a prosaic letter to an ex-boyfriend. Sample text:
“Hello, (name of the young man). Of course, you are surprised that you received a letter. But otherwise I can’t convey to you what I’m thinking about, I don’t find the courage and strength in myself. It is obvious to us that we could not keep our love. Our relations were filled with routine, they turned into a kind of commitment that does not bring joy.
I am very sorry about what happened. But one of us must take the first step, take responsibility and end these relationships in which there is no place for love, but only friendship and mutual affection. I want to apologize to you for everything that I have ever offended or hurt. And, of course, I forgive myself.
Despite the fact that we cannot be together as a couple, friendship between us is quite possible. With gratitude to you, sincerity and honesty (name of the girl). ”
Do I need to write about my love?
A love letter to a former guy requires much more caution and thoughtfulness in the content. A girl who is seriously experiencing a break in relations or regrets about him, as a rule, projects her own emotions on a young man.
Often young women are sure that they only need to say or write about their love, confess to the feeling that everything around will change as if by magic. But, unfortunately, miracles do not happen. Before you admit your feelings, especially in the form of a letter, you need to try to look at the current situation and broken up relations objectively, without "pink glasses".
How decent is the guy to whom the letter will be addressed? Is there a likelihood that he will simply begin to brag to them, to brag to his friends? Is there a real chance that the young man is bored and also regrets the breakup? Letters with declarations of love for ex-boyfriends are not always appropriate and bring the desired result.
Probably, everyone at least once saw a wonderful Soviet film called "Office Romance". However, not everyone will remember that in addition to the story of Novoseltsev, he also told another love story. Of course, we are talking about the relationship between Samokhvalov and Ryzhova. The heroine, played by Svetlana Nemolyaeva, was just writing love letters to Yuri. However, they did not cause him anything but pity and contempt.
But this does not mean that you do not need to confess love. There are no identical situations and life circumstances in which there was a gap between people. What will harm one will be another chance for personal happiness for another.
Love letter example
The letter to the ex-boyfriend, which speaks of love, can be issued both in a prosaic genre and in a poetic one. It follows from personal experience. You need to remember the happiest moments, reflect on what touched the young man, he liked him, set him up for a romantic or lyrical mood. Similar nuances are present in every relationship, even in the shortest or random ones.
As a rule, girls prefer to use poems for declarations of love. In this case, the presence of poetry is justified, since such a message will look more gentle, romantic and beautiful in comparison with a prosaic text.
An example of a love letter in a poetic genre:
“Rain is knocking behind the glass.
Somewhere under the drops, cars are freezing.
I am not sleeping. You are not sleeping.
And this is one reason.
I will say without hiding, not hiding behind a mask.
I will not hide love behind pride.
I want the return of our happiness
And all that together with you did not save.
I want to listen to laughter and hide from the rain
In arches, porches, in the noise of the subway.
I want to be with you next morning.
I love you, my silly happiness "
In a love message, as well as in letters pursuing other goals, it is important to observe moderation and be tactful. But besides this, in a message with a declaration of love it is necessary to be moderately emotional and restrained. In other words, the text of the message should not give the impression of obsession. You can’t write something that can cause pity in the heart of a young man. Of course, such a text may well serve as a reason for the resumption of relations, but they are unlikely to be long and strong.