Many are not serious about a problem such as a marriage crisis. 7 years, however, is a period that is a watershed moment when a family literally begins to burst at the seams. It is during this period that the largest number of divorces occurs. But do not think that this is a verdict and an end to everything. There is a way out of any crisis.
The essence of the crisis
Even the happiest couple is not immune from a problem such as a marriage crisis. 7 years is an approximate period when spouses begin to feel a certain discomfort. On the one hand, there is a lot of experience, well-established life and established relationships behind him, and on the other, the lack of development and the nebula of future prospects.
It should be understood that it is not just that a marriage crisis sets in. 7 years is a long enough period for which some grievances can accumulate, misunderstanding may arise, or an elementary habit may form. Thus, people go to crisis situations for a long time and systematically, and at some point everything breaks out.
Pay attention to the life of your family and existing relationships. Do you have any traditions or common goals? If so, most likely you will bypass this unpleasant situation. But if a family is exclusively living together, sooner or later you will begin to think that the best times are already lived. And here it is very important to understand the value of your relationship and past years.
The main causes of the crisis
Not out of the blue there is a crisis. 7 years of marriage is a sufficient period for certain problems to accumulate. So, the following are the most common causes of a family crisis:
- Boredom and monotony due to the structure of life. You no longer need to worry about finding joint housing, rubbing against each other's habits. At some point, you begin to live in accordance with a certain rhythm, which excludes the appearance of something new in a relationship.
- The fragmentation of interests and the gradual estrangement from each other. Spouses are no longer interested in spending time together. Weekends and holidays are increasingly spent separately, because the former lovers were just bored in the company of each other.
- Intimate problems. After 7 years of marriage, it is difficult for partners to surprise each other with something. Sometimes this makes spouses look for more vivid impressions on the side.
- Disagreement in matters of life views and goals. For 7 years, people learn about each other that was not available at the beginning of the meeting. As a result, personal dislike may arise between spouses .
- Lack of romance and sensuality in a relationship. People cease to relate to each other with trepidation and no longer try to do something pleasant.
The crisis of 7 years of marriage: symptoms
In order to get out of the family crisis, you need to recognize it in time. So, it’s worth it to sound the alarm if you feel such symptoms:
- the desire for intimacy disappears, contacts become extremely rare and do not bring pleasure;
- You no longer try to please each other;
- any problem turns into mutual reproaches and loud quarrels;
- opinions on most issues become the opposite;
- spouses no longer empathize with each other's problems;
- mutual irritation is present;
- one of the spouses feels disadvantaged, deprived and offended;
- You no longer want to share your joys or troubles with your soulmate.
How to hear each other?
You need to learn to understand and hear each other, if you are not around the marriage crisis. 7 years is a decent period for which there should be enough evidence to support the preservation of the family. In order to learn to hear and understand each other, it is important to consider the following points:
- Learn to talk to each other. For 7 years of marriage, the spouses should establish a sufficiently trusting relationship to openly tell each other about their problems. Just by talking, you can break the ice and become on the path of reconciliation.
- Appreciate what unites you. This is not just a long life together. Remember those moments when you were not yet spouses. What attracted you to each other? How did you build your family life? All this should indicate the value of the relationship.
- Think of the crisis not as a tragedy, but as an opportunity to consider existing problems and get rid of them, rather than hush up further.
- Show past respect and tenderness to each other. Perhaps the absence of these very feelings has led your family to a crisis. Speaking words of love and giving warmth, it is much easier to solve problems.
Solution
In fact, it is not so difficult to overcome the crisis of 7 years of marriage. Its characteristic allows us to conclude that this is a problem of habit, regularity of life and misunderstanding. In this regard, it is possible to take such measures to overcome the crisis:
- Eliminate boredom from your life. When planning your family budget, be sure to include the "entertainment" item in it. At least once a week, go to the cinema, to the club, to the cafe or just to nature together.
- Try to solve intimate problems. If you haven’t done this before, read a couple of books on this subject. You will surely find valuable advice in them that will make your partner fall in love with you again.
- Learn to make concessions (at least in minor moments), for example, choosing the color of wallpaper or tile for the bathroom. In fact, these are trifles. But, showing respect for the opinion of the second half, you can again achieve its location.
- Try to return to the candy-bouquet period when you were driven by romance. Send each other nice messages, write notes with hearts, give nice gifts, arrange dinners by candlelight, watch movies about love. The main thing is to do it sincerely, with soul.
- Remember why you chose this particular person to create a family. It is advisable that the spouses write it all down and then read it to each other. This will return you to those happy times when everything was just beginning, and will allow you to fall in love with each other again.
What should a woman do?
If you have been married for 7 years, the crisis of relations should not scare you, because a lot has already been passed, and this is just the next stage. A woman, as the keeper of the hearth, should be the first to feel something was wrong and try to eliminate the trouble. Pay attention to your appearance. Do you look as charming as you did 7 years ago? If not, you need to work in that direction. Sign up for a gym, visit a beauty salon, change your image. In the end, stop walking at home in a bathrobe and curlers. Make your man fall in love with you again, awaken his former passion in him. If your appearance is okay, try to work on your personality. Perhaps you should find some hobby in which you can realize yourself.
What to do to the man?
How to survive the crisis of 7 years of marriage? Many men prefer to seek consolation on the side or even create new families. Meanwhile, there is every chance to save a marriage that has been under construction for many years. Take care of your appearance. Not only a woman should look like a needle. A man must also take care of himself and his wardrobe. But most importantly, stop treating your spouse as a servant. A wife is not a cook, nor a laundress, nor a maid. This is primarily a friend who goes with you through life. Let the woman feel loved, protect her, make pleasant surprises. Then you are not afraid of any crises.
Conclusion
Many couples face such a problem as the crisis of 7 years of marriage. Its characteristics and features have been thoroughly studied by family psychologists, and therefore, turning to a specialist is the right decision. He will surely tell you that the basis of a happy marriage is mutual respect. Spouses are not each other's property. These are people who have made a voluntary decision to go through life together. And this road should be happy. To make it such, always return on the day you meet. Try to become like you did a few years ago to restore your relationship to its former passion and originality.